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Lunch Break Wins and Fails

It’s payday, so I got to go drop off my check at the bank: WIN

So did everyone else in the entire city, at the very same bank: FAIL

Someone tell that kid to stop staring at my soul please.

Someone tell that kid to stop staring at my soul please.

I got a really rare flavored Dum Dum sucker from the teller: WIN

I left it in the tube: FAIL

bubble gum dum dum

I don’t know why this excites me. I don’t even like suckers.

I ignored my better judgement and decided to eat McDonalds: WIN

I realized I have a problem with french fries when the lady in the car next to me sheilded her children’s eyes from the sight of me smashing them into my face: FAIL

how i eat fries alone

The first step is acknowledgment…

I checked my WordPress app to see I have exceeded 19, 000,000 views: EPIC WIN

I am utterly dilusional: EPIC FAIL

wordpress stats

Stupid App.

 

Nothing fell out of my Big Mac when I removed it from the box: WIN

I Immediately bit into a pickle: FAIL

 

I found honey to dip my obesity sticks in: WIN

My fingers now stick to the keyboard: FAIL

first world problems

I can’t play on the internet with sticky fingers. It’s so unfair.

Remember kids, french fries should never be eaten individually, but always in groups.

It feels good to be back to silly.

 

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Getting Robbed… By Your Cat

jack 25tofly

It’s settled. I am just going to put everything I own on the floor. He wont know what to do with himself.

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First World Work Problems

money vs. happines

I admittedly chose this photo solely based on the attractive male in a suit… in a pool.

Parts of this post are hypothetical. Maybe.

I read a post today by Lament’s and Lullalbies that I thought was brilliantly human, which is odd, because I know internet people aren’t people at all, they are aliens. Cool aliens, but aliens nonetheless. Don’t worry, I am not phoning the MIB… yet.

Her post addresses the human condition of struggling between making ends meet and making your dreams come true. She writes in a way that is synonymous with the mosh pit of a thought process that I assume begins in most people’s minds when thinking about these issues. Everyone has an ideal career, or two, or three, or is at least on the search to finding one. Everyone also faces the ongoing obligation to provide for themselves at the same time. It is all a huge balancing act and we don’t have the proper equilibrium. In my case, I am just drunk. Read the rest of this entry

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