Mr. OB and Irrational Fears

It has been quite a while since I have shared any conversations with my geriatric boyfriend Mr. OB. Since I can now type again, I can’t think of a better way to get back into the swing of posting than to give you some more disturbing pictures of his character. If you don’t know who Mr. OB is (short for Mr. Outback), I’ll tell you now, you won’t ever get an accurate bio of him. Here or anywhere for that matter. But you can infer what you will about him from my series of stories here and by reading the rest of this post.

mr ob

Look closely, this is the most you will ever see of Mr. OB

I had the pleasure of another long overdue dinner and visitation with Mr. OB a few nights ago. It is yet to be determined if he was or was not stoned. Not that that serves as a logical reason that the following conversation occurred, but he seemed bit… paranoid.

We said our hellos first:

Mr. OB: “What’s wrong with you?”

Me: “Nothing?”

Mr. OB: “Oh, you look funny”

Me: Well my arm was swallowed by a first aid kit, but other than that…

On topics of medical experiences, needles, and the like. 

Me: “Wait, so you think if you put a needle in your leg that you will accidentally pull back on the syringe and suck out your insides?”

Mr. OB: “Well yeah, I don’t know what is in there!”

Me: “You mean, in your body?”

Mr. OB: “Yeah! And I don’t want to know.”

Me: “You know, I don’t think needles work like plungers and turkey basters. Wait, why are you stabbing yourself with needles in the first place?”

Mr. OB: Mumbles something about bees and tractors running into trees

On blenders:

Mr. OB: “When that thing comes on at Outback, I am ducking behind the register. The blade is coming out of that thing and it’s flying across the bar and straight into my neck.” making dramatic throat slicing motion

Me: “Because that blender blade has had it out for you since it found out you only drink wine, right?”

Mr. OB: “I’ve seen it happen.”

Me: Well I am sure a lot of people “see” things that would never happen. Ever heard of intrusive thoughts? Hallucinations? Paranoia?

Mr. OB: “You just wait. I’m telling you. It’s gonna happen. I just hope it won’t be me. But it will probably be me.”

Me: to the bartender “Can I get a frozen margarita? Well blended please?”

Check out my latest vlog in the sidebar on the most obvious topic of all. The internet.  ———————————————————————————->

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About Becca Cord

Becca Cord is a twenty-something year old southern ballerina turned humor writer and video editor. Having lived in Louisiana her entire life, she is now perusing her travel dreams while starting her own free-lance Web Marketing business and organizing a nation wide blogging event, Blogger Interactive. She believes one of her callings is making people laugh, and she intends to do so. You can find Becca on her personal blog, Facebook page, or Twitter @becca25tofly.

Posted on February 19, 2014, in Humor and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 10 Comments.

  1. Hiya! :D
    I am starting my own mini challenge for my birthday (14th), I want to do something special this year since I haven’t celebrated my birthdays a few years… I would be very happy if you would join, it will run for probably 7 days and then 7 days me praising some of you who did the best in a daily challenges, pingbacks and all. :D I promise it will be fun. Please do join, or else this can become really sad very quickly hahahaha
    Everyone is welcome to join! :) Here is the link to my blog: http://ivymosquito.wordpress.com/

  2. Weird, but in a very nice way. Have say my least favourite electrical gadget is an angle grinder (not a kitchen utensil obviously, but I recon they have the same psyco attitude as a blender!)

  3. I think I’ve served Mr. OB on several occasions…

  4. Those blenders, they’re real death traps.

  5. LOL!! Now that is funny!!
    But next time you are at er..uhm Outback..order:
    “The Wallaby Darned®” The famous Australian peach bellini. Tickle your tongue with this frosty combination of peaches, champagne, SVEDKA® Vodka and De Kuyper® Peachtree™ Schnapps. OMG! Yummers! (got that description straight from their web site)
    Glad your back! :-)

  6. Everyone loves margaritas.

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