“1”

For ten years now, or so it seems, I have had an unfinished, untitled post in the dusty cupboard of my dashboard. Actually, it was titled,  no title, which WordPress automatically assigns to all of those posts you begin to write knowing that you have no intention of finishing but that you begin to write anyway to make yourself feel like you gave it a shot.

The only text it contained read:

1.

This could only mean “1” of “1” things.

In my desperation, I attempted to write a list post. I know what I must have been thinking, “I can surely rattle off quickly, raise a few chuckles, and get my groove back”. Yet, apparently I went into the scheme unarmed, save for the numerals that would keep the words in queue. Well, “1” numeral at least. Today, I finish this list once and for all so that the uncapitalized no title will stop making my brain vibrate with discomfort.

Things That Come In “1’s”

1. 40 oz. beers in paper bags

2. The gummy vitamins that mutated into 1 whole gummy vitamin after I left them in my car in the middle of Summer

3. Kickboxing class

4. Cream cheese packets at Starbucks

5. Becca Cord

Things That Never Come In “1’s:

1.  People who play scratch off tickets at the cash register like it’s the casino

2. Gnats

3. Pomeranians

4. Overly enthusiastic, borderline creepy smiles at Starbucks

5. 5 for $25 panty deals at Victoria’s Secret

Whew! I can’t tell you how relieved I am to have conquered this post. Finally! I can move forward. I’ve been dying to write about so many things, yet I couldn’t stop staring at no title  and knowing that there was a list I needed to purge from my brain. I hope we can all get back to normal around here now.

I’d like to get back in the loop a bit, especially with Blogger Interactive right around the corner, and in hopes that it will shake up my creative juices again now that I have a bit of time freed up. If you comment, send me a link to something you have written in the past week, month, whatever. Something important or something you wrote just for fun. Laughs are encouraged. Thanks Flysters.

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About Becca Cord

Becca Cord is a twenty-something year old southern ballerina turned humor writer and video editor. Having lived in Louisiana her entire life, she is now perusing her travel dreams while starting her own free-lance Web Marketing business and organizing a nation wide blogging event, Blogger Interactive. She believes one of her callings is making people laugh, and she intends to do so. You can find Becca on her personal blog, Facebook page, or Twitter @becca25tofly.

Posted on August 28, 2013, in Humor and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 28 Comments.

  1. I guess “1” really was the lonliest number until you found it and breathed some life back in. I have a story about 1 worm, and 1 very embarrassed writer…hope it makes you laugh.

    http://nightingalechronicles.com/2012/07/27/when-the-nurse-becomes-the-patient/

  2. Man, that must feel good, hate those shameful reminders like the dirty dishes staring at you accusingly!

    5 pairs of Victoria’s Secret pantys for $25 bucks?! Wow! Although I’d have to disagree, I’m sure someone, at some stage, has definitely “come” in one of those…

    *crickets*

    Sorry, bad taste joke, but too apt to resist >.< Can I still be a Flyster?!

    Rohan.

  3. Best. List. Post. Ever!
    On an unrelated note, exactly how is Jack? I’ve been racking my brain trying to figure out just what “Jack has left the building” means….
    As for your creative drought, you’ve got a lot on your plate right now, so don’t sweat it. I completely understand writer’s block. BELIEVE ME.
    Drop me an e-mail if you want a guest post. Anytime.
    Be well, Becca,

    • Thanks, I do try! It’s more busyness than block, but I think I should have a little more time to focus now that I have the bulk of a few projects mostly completed. Although, knowing myself I will probably keep adding!

      Jack leaves the building all the time, he is a modern day feline Elvis.

  4. I have an untitled post from over a year ago, and the only thing it says is “A”. I just chucked it, but I should have done what you did and try to come up with a post around it. Sadly, there isn’t any genius in this brain. Just thoughts of the next eclair I’ll eat.

    • Now I want a cheese danish. Bring me a cheese danish!!!!

      “A” and “1” … something reminds me of steak too.

      I think I am just really hungry right now.

  5. I’m glad you got this out of your system haha. Sooo with you on the people who do scratch cards at the counter – what are they thinking?!!

  6. Pomeranians!!! I almost spit water all over!
    Ex-wives don’t seem to come in 1’s either;

    3 divorces, 4 boys, tragedy, joy & adventure
    https://joshjlawson.wordpress.com/

  7. Hey, Becca! I know you have been busy!! I have a few of those untitled posts myself. I just ignore them, ha ha. Good of you to free yourself of that pesky 1. Here’s my latest:
    http://thebumblefiles.wordpress.com/2013/08/28/what-the-wi-fi-do-you-know-huh/

    I hope it makes you laugh!

  8. took me a second to get the kickboxing one, but that’s the best of all.

  9. What is this “1 40 per bag” of which you speak???

    It was a tough choice between bad poetry and the Hobbit limerick.
    But really, with choices like that, we all lose.
    http://guapola.wordpress.com/2013/08/24/beatnik-poetry-slam-rise-inside/

    Great to see you, Becca.

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