Safari

In honor of my 200th post on this blog, I treated myself to a Safari. In the exotic land of Shreveport, LA at a remote location. My parents’ house. Enjoy.

monkey statue

Remember this guy? I found out he is not alone…

jeweled monkey

With all of that bling, how can a monkey look so sad?

monkey lamp

Monkeys don’t like rain. My mom doesn’t like lamps. Unless they are monkey lamps.

speak no evil hear no evil

“Decorations are all evil… unless they involve monkeys” – my mom

monkey doorstop

Behold the monkey door stop: A whole new level of primate decor

monkey painting

As if figurines, lamps, and door stops, weren’t enough

monkey painting

Sexy monkey illustrations

monkey painting

Don’t look at my left monkey nipple

monkey painting

I saved this stump for you hot stuff

I passed through the kitchen and on to the Roosters at this point. My mother was engulfed by the bright lights of the television, intently watching the 2012 Disney production, Chimpanzee.

rooster painting

Bring on the Roosters

rooster bowl

Cock-a-doodle-don’t.

rooster decor

Don’t let Roosters fool you. They can climb.

wtf

Loner.

Let’s move on to the enigma species that I observed…

creepy bunny

I couldn’t look directly at it, but I also couldn’t look away.

wtf bunny

I found this creature in hiding. It had nice eyelashes. I’ll give it that.

I was starting to feel like I might have been slipped some acid, but I continued on my journey.

bunny candleholder

Another animal holding shit.

tiny giraffe

Hey look, a black giraffe.

ladybug night light

A lady bug trying to become a lightning bug. Or just getting it on with a light socket. You decide.

At this point, I was exhausted, confused, and feeling a bit grimy. I took to the bathing quarters to clear my mind and wash off. When I stepped out of my refreshing shower, I opened the towel cabinet to find myself face to face with this;

white frog

NOPE.

Stay tuned for a brand new vlog or two in the coming weeks. 

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About becca3416

Becca Cord is a twenty-something year old southern ballerina turned humor writer and video editor. Having lived in Louisiana her entire life, she is now perusing her travel dreams while starting her own free-lance Web Marketing business and organizing a nation wide blogging event, Blogger Interactive. She believes one of her callings is making people laugh, and she intends to do so. You can find Becca on her personal blog, Facebook page, or Twitter @becca25tofly.

Posted on April 24, 2013, in Adventures, Humor, Travel and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 94 Comments.

  1. Excuse my language, but that was fucking awesome!

  2. We seriously almost moved to Shreveport. Knowing that I’ll now never have the chance to force your parents to be friends with me and let me babysit their pet monkey is breaking my glittery little heart.

    • Ericka my mom would love you and want to adopt you as her own child in place of me, so maybe it is for the best. For me at least.

      Yay for bling monkeys!

  3. Wow, I leave you alone for a few months and you go all Tarzan on me. Communing with the beasts. Taking showers with frogs. But seriously, that is one trippy rabbit. It’s eyes are furry…

  4. Free safari? I feel like I just won a prize. I liked the monkeys best.

  5. You’ve been a little smarter than I have. I’m guessing your mother has no idea you have a blog. Mine does. It makes things awkward.

    • Oh, she knows. She just doesn’t think my blog is cool enough to read.

      Just kidding. She doesn’t know how to work the internet, and I am not going to teach her.

  6. The sexy monkey is going to haunt my nightmares for a while.

  7. Good God all it makes me think about is the monkey brain scene in the Indiana Jones movie. Ewwww.

  8. Your parents just miss you – something has to fill the void. What better than monkeys and roosters??? I mean, I have no idea how they’re like you… But they must be somhow…

  9. Sad monkey needs diamonds.
    Is door stop monkey dancing to “If you liked it, then you should have put a ring on it”?

  10. I keep imagining your dance picture hanging amongst those monkey portraits, and am laughing hysterically.

  11. Creepy monkey art…

  12. Good grief – what a house! I got totally caught up in the feel of the place just looking through the pictures. I can’t imagine what it would be like being there. Amazing!

  13. This is where the wild statues come to reside it seems. I bet this is an amazing experience the first time or two someone new take it in.

  14. Holy crap, your parents are the coolest people! Having that bejeweled monkey idol alone would be worth the risk of being chased by a giant boulder.

  15. It could be worse. She could be a taxidermist with kleptomania who makes frequent trips to the zoo. Then imagine the type of animal statues you could have all through the house!

    • Well hello. How nice of you to actually comment. You must be bored.

      • I feel like that main charcter from a movie who has been a complete jerk up until the final scene. Then I come down from my penthouse apartment after some great revelation dream and greets the doorman by name with a smile and a $20 tip. Anyways point is you would make a great doorman!

  16. Amazing what a special group of people (parents, of course!) can collect. As I have found by personal experience, the oddities can one day become yours and you will be left staring at it all wondering what in the hell to do with it!

    I still do not know what to do with the 3 foot tall painting of a naked Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden.

    • Jack said he will buy it from you. He will pay you in shredded toilet paper.

      Isn’t bizarre though? I just got done purging all of my useless nick nacks. I think it would take my mother a solid five years.

      • It might be worth more than that…maybe one intact roll of Charmin.

        Also, I am happy that none of the monkey related items featured a monkey throwing his poop. Although that could up the value factor due to the pure comedy of it.

  17. Congrats on the milestone! Oh, and let me just say, this was way better than the Nature Channel. Although the Bling Monkey looked like he had lesions, which made me want to donate money to some kind of Save the Bling Monkeys fund :(

  18. The nipple hiding monkey? I like him a lot. I don’t know why

  19. My move loves collecting stuff too. She has a chicken room that I get to have nightmares in when I go to visit.

  20. That monkey door stop beats the heck out of the one I use every day at the hotel!
    Glad to see you had fun in the exotic nation of Mom and Dad Land, Becca!

  21. Oh my gosh, that stuff is awesome. Sometimes creepy, but mostly awesome. It’s like a museum of animal knick-knacks.

  22. That is pretty weird but I have to admit, I want that doorstop.

    • Ha! Jill, finding that door stop was harder than it looks. That thing is pretty tiny. I am not even sure if it is functional. But, I will admit that I kind of liked this one too. Kind of.

  23. that blingy monkey was scratching his balls. atta boy.

  24. Congrats on 200. And nice biceps flex on that last monkey!

  25. What a great house – they look like the animals I’d see in the high-end furniture stores my Mom dragged me to my entire childhood life.

  26. And all I can think is…damn that’s a lot of dusting

  27. The safari was fun, but I have a problem with the monkeys. I really don’t like monkeys. They freak me out. I did really enjoy the roosters and the bunnies, though. I also liked the giraffe and the frog. Just not those monkeys. Shudder.

    • I have weird emotions surrounding monkeys. I think they are cute, but they are also terribly volatile creatures I imagine. So I want to say “Aweee” and “Nope!” at the same time.

      Also, I hate frogs.

  28. “Cock-a-doodle-don’t” – HA. That caption almost makes up for the nightmares I’m going to have tonight about alarmingly seductive monkey paintings.

    I’m surprised you made it out of there alive…

  29. Life is a jungle and your parents have prepared you for it. Mazel tov on your 200th!

  30. Folks in Shree-port just roll that way.

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