Shower Beer

Dude, my blog was kind of an ass last week huh? I finally gained some sort of control. It was actually quite simple to distract my blog so that I could post as me again. I simply opened a movie containing a lot of nudity on Netflix in one tab while I wrote this post in another. Apparently my blog has a problem with the ways in which I unwind in the privacy of my own home, so in spite of my blog hijacking last week, I am going to continue my lush activities. One being the shower beer.

Shower beer

Beaver says… even Michelob Ultra makes a good shower beer.

My coozie says beaver on it. It’s okay to laugh. I know that beavers are totally funny animals in general and really have nothing to do with naked girls taking showers, so I understand how hilarious it is. Beaver.

Now, if you notice in the left photo, I have made sure to censor my entire shoulder and not show any of my armpit either. That would have just been a tease. Plus, I know better than to expose myself like that on the internet. The plus side is that you can still say you have technically seen Becca in the shower. No one will know it was only from my shower beer up.

What is a shower beer you ask? The answer to all of your problems. That’s what. Had a bad day at work? Wash it away while you wash down your favorite lager. Just broke up with your boyfriend/girlfriend? Good, more beer for you and your shower. Didn’t make it to the gym today? Sweat it out under the scalding water with a Bud Select 55 and call it a day.

It isn’t just comforting in times of distress either. You can also resort to a shower beer in times of celebration. Someone bought you a free six-pack? It’s probably because you are charming and worthy, so have that first ice-cold brew under the cascades of your home-made waterfall. Had a sexy day? Make it even sexier with a shower beer. Finally quit your awful day job? Stay in the bathroom until all of the hot water is gone and down as many bottles as you can. You don’t have to wake up tomorrow!

Are you getting the point here? There is never a bad time for this ritual. This is the ultimate indulgence, and the best part is that no one is judging. Your shower head and shampoo bottle will never give you a hard time about downing that pomegranate raspberry Michelob while you scrub your guns and pecs with a pink loofah. You can even enjoy a bath beer in substitution for the shower beer without guilt. It still counts.

If you don’t drink, start drinking. Or as another alternative, grab an O’douls or maybe even a root beer and get naked. Either way, you deserve it.

ADDENDUM: This Thursday is Valentine’s Day. I am sure you are overly aware. The good news is that instead of posting some bitch-fest post, or gushing about a boyfriend, I did something much cooler and way less annoying. I got together with Adam over at My Right to Bitch headquarters, and we came up with a new tradition for the holiday. Be sure to tune in Thursday for our insane collaboration! 

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About Becca Cord

Becca Cord is a twenty-something year old southern ballerina turned humor writer and video editor. Having lived in Louisiana her entire life, she is now perusing her travel dreams while starting her own free-lance Web Marketing business and organizing a nation wide blogging event, Blogger Interactive. She believes one of her callings is making people laugh, and she intends to do so. You can find Becca on her personal blog, Facebook page, or Twitter @becca25tofly.

Posted on February 11, 2013, in Humor and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 114 Comments.

  1. I usually save the shower beer for busting my ass. Hard day working in the yard or helping a friend move? Grab a cold beer on the way to the shower. Kick ass run or hike? Same thing…

  2. Which runs out first… the beer supply or the hot water?

  3. I’m more of a shower and cheese girl. Beer is usually a grocery shopping thing. Thoughts?

  4. So brilliant. Words failing. Questioning why my brain never conceived of this before. Must partake in shower beer soon or what is left of my brain will cease working altogether as a form of protest. Too late. Brain has had enough of life without …

  5. Shower beer … *mind wanders* I wish I drank! Occasional glass of vino in the bath, but I’m thinking what works in the shower is the whole bottle thing, a glass would pretty soon fill up with water. Oh no hang on, I could take a BOTTLE of wine into the shower! Now you’ve started something.

  6. I personally embrace shower vodka, and clearly also, an impending diagnosis of alcoholism.

  7. Becca,
    I like a shower beer or 5 myself. The only difference is the shower I imbibe in is an outdoor shower. In my backyard. In the sun. It’s almost as good as a beach beer.
    I look forward to you and Adam and your new tradition…
    Red

  8. I shall have to try this next time I go on rest. There seems to be a lack of beer in the Priory, for some reason! ;-)

  9. I insisted on building a bench in my shower for this very reason. Fun fact: steam has the same kind of extra drunky effect as altitude, so a six pack is not a great idea.

  10. I love it! I just need to go buy some beer!

  11. I recommend nachos in the shower. Actually, I don’t. It was yucky. I needed to take a bath to clean off the shower.

  12. yup yup yup, I usually beer in shower (B.I.S. as my friends and I have come to call it) before going out in the city for the night. Also, singing. So, beer in shower while singing.

  13. Becca, is there anything not to like about you? You are just so…so…wait! There’s a dancing leprechaun on your beaver coozie!

  14. The other person in my place likes to get a glass of Ginja (sour sherry liqueur) to the shower, and I have to pick after him, it pissed me off.

  15. What if you bathe in champagne (or beer on redneck cougar night) regularly, like me? Does that make the shower beer redundant? Overkill? Too much of a great thing?

  16. I have a slight problem with shower beer, Becca. I don’t have a shower, but it sounds good in theory. Good to see you have taken control of your blog again.

  17. Okay, there are words after the photos, but I’m stuck at the photos.

    Damn, Becca. You really make me question a lot of things.
    ;)

  18. I like a bath and purple drank. It ups the anti on staying awake.

  19. Becca, you hottie! I think I have done this before! But, it’s been a while. But I know, I’ve never had a pomegranate raspberry Michelob. Thanks for the treat.

  20. I used to do all my yardwork on Tuesdays. 3- 4 hours in the sun. I live in Florida. A cold beer, and a cool shower was the ticket.

  21. I’ve done gin in the bathtub, but never beer in the shower. Time to up my game.

  22. AH! *grabs beer and runs to the shower*

  23. Put it in a glass and it will never empty! May get a bit weaker but that is probably a good thing – lost a shower curtain this weekend to. Spooky.

  24. Dear Becca,
    I never took a beer with me in the shower, during my binge years, as I would always be too drunk, and that meant I could have slipped in the shower, which ultimately means I would perhaps break a beer bottle and most importantly, WASTE beer……….
    But. Love your post. Love the pics. You know the blogosphere is chanting your name today… Bloggers are in love.
    Le Clown

    • Le Clown, at least you probably saved yourself a few trips to the hospital for removal of beer glass from your ass by loving beer too much to shower with it and potentially waste any.

      I am in love back. It’s mutual, so there shouldn’t be any police reports. I hope.

  25. Why have I never done this before? Now if only we could find a way to get our laptops in the shower too there would be no reason to leave. Ever!

  26. You may have censored your shoulder but you positioned yourself in such a way where somebody out there could easily Photoshop you doing something far more provocative than bathing.

    Is there an alternative to the shower? I’m a never-nude and don’t like getting my jeans wet. Could having a friend splash water on my face still give similar pleasure?

    • Something tells me that if someone was disrespectful enough to do something like that, they wouldn’t need a picture of me holding a beer to be an asshole.

      You can get one of those fan mist things. That should work out nicely for you. *spritz* *sip* *spritz* *sip*

      Get the gist?

  27. “My coozie says beaver on it.”
    Your opening line inspired quite the lengthy debate amongst the bellmen, Becca. Some said that you should have said “cozie”, rather than “coozie”, as the latter seems to refer to a glorious female body part. Still, everyone agreed that you’re a cutie and thosee that could whistle, did so.

    In fact, guess which female blogger’s pic is now adorning the official bell desk computer’s wallpaper?

    Personally, my glasses misted up, so I needed a minute before i could actually read this post… However, once I actually finished, my belief in your brilliance was reinforced. I don’t drink, but your concept sounds like fun. You’re a brave gal, Becca Cord.

    Don’t tinker with imperfection.

  28. I am a big fan of the bath wine so I will for sure need to try this.

  29. I’m truly disappointed. Mic Ultra? What, are you Lance Armstrong or something? Or wait, even he knew how to party down with something stronger (read: better) that Mic Ultra…!

  30. I’m doing this right now at work, except without the shower and the nakedness.

  31. I’m totally disappointed that you don’t wear your Agent shades in the shower.

  32. I’ve done wine in the shower. I suggest a white wine made from the Viognier grape. The floral aromas and slight tropical undertones pair well with your bar of Ivory.

  33. Hear hear! I feel genuinely sorry for anyone not doing this. The only thing missing is your lap top.

    I walked into my craft room (I know, I have such a sexy life, too) this morning for a birthday card, and saw an empty bottle of champagne on the table next to the wrapping paper. I’d forgotten what had happened in there the day before.

    What I’m trying to say is: Don’t be afraid to think outside the box shower.

  34. I always thought shower beer was more of a vacation thing.

  35. Shower beer? An interesting concept. I’ll be sure to pass this one on to my brother. I don’t think even he has thought of this. Interesting, Becca.

  36. My husband does this ALL THE TIME. And leaves the empty beer bottles in there on the shower ledge. Have you ever tried your morning coffee in the shower? Great way to start the day.

  37. Cue the creeps in 3……2…….1…….

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