10 Personal Post Secrets Revealed

I am borrowing an idea today. You may be familiar with the concept behind Post Secret. I discovered this trend via theBerry, and I can’t seem to get enough of the compilation post of anonymous secrets they publish on Fridays. I’ve been thinking of my own secret behaviors, and since I am being fearless these days, I will spill a few here today. But don’t go telling everyone on the internet or anything. I trust you.

post secret

And being me.

1. I listen to the music in my car at sound volumes reminiscent of the decibels that melted George McFly’s mind. When I pull up to a red light, any red light, I immediately turn it down to a respectable level. I wouldn’t want strangers I will never see again judging my taste in music. I also don’t want children to hear me spitting Eminem like a champ.

2. When I catch an auto corrected text message that turns out to be LOL material, I will send it anyway. Then I send a corrected text after. I feel obligated to do this but also oh so guilty.

3. Sometimes, I forget to stretch before I work out. This one absolutely can not leave this blog. It is too intimate, but it does feel nice to finally get it off of my chest.

4. I once stole a single Lemon Head candy from the grocery store. I’ve been on the run ever since.

5. When I clip Jack’s claws, I pretend I am doing a dire medical procedure. In that moment, I am Chief of Surgery. Sometimes I even put on scrubs.

doctor mask

Yes, it is on upside down. I call it the Becca Method.

6. My real name is not actually Becca. It’s Rebecca.

Should I stop this before I reach a point of no return?

7. My hair color is a lie. There, have we said it enough? Is everyone aware? Good. We wont bring it up again.

8. I try to kill bugs with hairspray. While pretending I am a giant.

9. My pillows on my bed are human. I cuddle with them. Sometimes, I even cuddle with two of them at the same time. The shame is unbearable.

10. My secrets are ridiculous, which really is no secret at all.

I feel naked now. So do me a solid by getting naked with me. Tell me, what is your post secret?

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About Becca Cord

Becca Cord is a twenty-something year old southern ballerina turned humor writer and video editor. Having lived in Louisiana her entire life, she is now perusing her travel dreams while starting her own free-lance Web Marketing business and organizing a nation wide blogging event, Blogger Interactive. She believes one of her callings is making people laugh, and she intends to do so. You can find Becca on her personal blog, Facebook page, or Twitter @becca25tofly.

Posted on January 15, 2013, in Humor, Silly and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 181 Comments.

  1. I snort when I laugh really hard. And if it goes beyond my snorting stage then I look like a T-rex who has fallen on her back and is flailing her puny arms around. RAWR.

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  3. I like listening to the radio in my husband’s car. The radio itself has some weird issues with the base, so NPR sounds gangsta.

    AND I told my sons that there was only one package of poptarts left. There were two.

    There. I feel better.

  4. You kind of looked like Bane in the picture with your surgery mask. Just don’t tell anyone that they have permission to die. :)

  5. Great post!

    At a red light, I like to dance and sing to the song I’m listening to and look over to the car next to me to see if they notice. Know why? Even if they’re making fun of me it might put a smile on their face. That and when I’m listening to a real catchy, happy-go-lucky song I just don’t give a damn what other people think.

    One time, I was in a parking lot and I blasted the song “Somebody to Love” by Queen and was rocking out in my parked car. I looked over to the car that had just pulled into the spot next to me a little bit before of the end (and if you know the song it was around the time where Freddie sings high pitched “Sombody toooooo….looooooooooove” )and saw my coworker watching me. We proceeded to act as if nothing happened. Priceless!

    Marie

    • Haha! The “this never happened” look. Love it.

      I used to not give a fuck at red lights in high school, but then somewhere along the line I developed this fear of being judged by strangers. Weird! For the record though, it ALWAYS puts a smile on my face when I see people shamelessly rocking out in the car next to me. I will always give them the thumbs up.

  6. Actually, I do know what happened to the all bras in the drawer.
    Despite my protestations of innocence.

    hehehe

  7. I use to cuddle with human pillows but they are always filled with feathers. Feathers poke my ear when I sleep! :D

  8. So hilarious, you and I are so much alike it’s scary. You are not alone in your secrets! I may have to steal this idea, too, although mine may not be as funny as yours ;-)

  9. Secrets secrets are no fun, unless you tell them wordpress…

    I often say not-so-nice things to my students in a really positive voice with a big smile–example: Thank looks absolutely NOTHING like a rainbow, those flowers probably smell like shit because you colored them BROWN and no that scribble does not look like a TREE! Way to be a horrible drawer!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!

    They’re 4, they don’t speak English and will never know the difference. I’m horrible.

  10. When I reach stop signs/stoplights I don’t turn my music down, because I want to try to convert people to what I’m listening to.

    Oh FINE! It’s because I feel like a bad-ass when I’m behind the wheel and blasting music confirms that feeling.

  11. I hate meeting new people. I really, really do. I get nervous, sweaty, and end up saying the dumbest shit you’ve ever heard. It honestly feels like I’ve just had a lobotomy.

    May I borrow (read: steal) this idea for a post? Link back to this one, of course.

  12. When I go walking or do my attempt at jogging, I blare my music and sing out loud to the songs. In my head people can’t hear me, cause I think i’m singing along in my head. Turns out, the funny looks mean it is reality :) Figured that one out tonight, so I came back to share and tell

  13. Becca,
    I wear guy-liner.

  14. In the spirit of sharing I will post a secret for you. When I get lost trying to find my way around the crazy one way streets that make up the way to my work I turn the music real low as if this is really the best way to find myself- I am sorry radio I dont have time for your nonsense I am LOST.

  15. My favs are #5 and #8! You are such a giant…ooohhh scarry Rebecca, Becky…just kidding, Becca. You will always be Becca to me. Secrets…I have none!

  16. My secret? I actually think Aquaman is pretty cool.
    Don’t tell any other nerds or we’ll have to have words….

  17. I like anchovies and sardines and pickles.
    SO SUE ME!

  18. Your hair color is a lie??? Are you shitting me??? Why don’t you just pee all over the place and ruin my party while you’re at it.

  19. Is that ALL you do with pillows? Hehehe. No shame in that.

  20. My lips are sealed and I will breathe not one word, Becca.

  21. When I come here I get two laughs for the price of one. First I read your post. Funny stuff girl. Second I read the comments. Especially between you and Twindaddy. too damn funny. I want to thank you for brightening up my day.
    As for getting naked with you. hmmmm sure why not! I’m feeling brave today.
    I sleep with several pillows also. And hug them.
    I sing when I shouldn’t, really, my cat attacks me when I sing.
    whew, that was scary!

  22. I never thought I’d be jealous of a pillow, but…

  23. On sunny days, if I go out to our garage, get a ladder, and climb onto the roof … then stand on my right foot only, cup my left ear in a slightly southwesterly direction and close my eyes … I can hear you spitting Eminem. You should tour.

  24. Oh #9 why do you plague our minds with the shame?
    Okay here goes, getting naked with Becca. Sometimes I feign faulty cell reception when I don’t want to speak to persistent telemarketers. Sometimes I put my phone up to my laptop speaker and make them listen to music while they go “Hello? Hello,miss?”. I am a horrible person.

  25. do you roleplay with the pillows? if so, i can give you some good scenarios to try. and you don’t, i can help you get started. i have some killer, proven scripts.

  26. I really admire you for posting these. They are so brave. My secret is that sometimes when people call me and I don’t want to talk on the phone, I tell them that I am trying to put C down for a nap.

  27. I once had an argument with and then made out with a pole in public to avoid getting possibly jumped in the hood. (CRAZY) is the only thing scary people don’t want to mess with. sighs…
    I too do the pillow thing. :)
    I talk to myself in the car when no one is there. LOL
    Fun post.

  28. 8. I try to kill bugs with hairspray. While pretending I am a giant.

    I did this once, but also threw a lighter into the mix. It was…entertaining.

    I also blare my music in the car whilst singing melodiously along. I actually have a decent, not great, singing voice. No I will not record it and post it.

  29. I cuddle with my pillows too. Always fall asleep on my side with one in between my knees. Pillows are the adult version security blanket, right?

  30. I do that too – with the music volume at red lights. Someone once asked if I was ashamed of my musical tastes.

    Let’s see – post secrets… hm. My dad once had a grocery store that went out of business because he was one Lemon Head short of being able to pay the rent. That was awful. Um…

    Here’s one: When I listen to music, I think about which tracks I wish I’d written, then compile mental albums of those tracks (from various albums and artists), including which order they’d go in, and which songs would go best together on an album. There may be enough of these mental albums to constitute the various “phases” of my fantasy musical career.

  31. Geez all it takes is one guest blogger and your whole false ginger identity is tarnished forever…….

  32. I think we all want to see a video of you “Spiting Eminem” like a champ.

  33. Nooooo not a head of lies!!! Seriously though, that is surprising. That color is made for you. My post secret is that I tell people I have a lot of blonde moments and point to my head… but I’m not actually this blonde. Shhh.

    • Thanks, I love red wayyyyyy better than blonde (for me). I can’t believe it took me so long to change it up. You have great blonde hair. Seems like hair color is a pretty universal post secret. We must rebel against living in shame!

  34. The “your real name is rebecca” had me Laugh out loud. Nice.. Nice work, so funny and unassuming… :-)

  35. My kids think everyone eats Skittles in order beginning with RED. I may or may not have had something to with that. ;-)

  36. Becca so nice to learn some of your secrets and I promise I’ll keep them to myself. Sometimes I plug in my iPod and pretend I’m in a movie, with closeups and dramatic looks and my skin is flawless. I’m a blonde (ahem), don’t fault me, I was born that way, like Ga-Ga (ew). I once walked out of Walgreens with a jar of peanuts (was distracted, didn’t mean to) but when I almost got to my car, I realized it and returned them to the manager, apologizing. He knew it was a mistake because the seal wasn’t broken.

    Oh, I secretly believe I can sing.

  37. We share number 3 and 9, my bed is an orgy every single night..

  38. Wow….purging on a Tuesday….here goes nothing…

    1) I curl, there I said it. I’m Canadian, it’s what we do in small towns in the winter.

    2) I am addicted to coffee. I will drink it until my entire body is vibrating.

    3) I love my dog more than I love some of my friends. I can’t help it, she never judges me.

    4) I love musicals. Yep, I’m out. I can probably be an understudy for all parts of a great many of them. (wow, that felt good)

    5) I’m becoming addicted to WP and spend very little time doing any work at work. (guess where I am now?)

    Thanks Becca!! You’re right….that felt great. Have a great Tuesday!

  39. I’m really a man. Giggle.

  40. This is pretty complex. There are deeper darker levels to this

  41. You inspired me! I will write a post of my secrets. I revealed some of them in my Liebster Blog Award post but that only scratched the surface. There are many more lurking below the surface.

  42. Ok ok – I tell everyone I’m 5’4″; but really, I’m 5’3 & 3/4″ – THERE I SAID IT! And my hair was never naturally David Bowie red; I dyed it!

  43. I’ll get naked with you.

    1. I wear a ratty robe when I’m at home. Every time I’m at home. So if anyone comes over at 11 in the morning, they’re shocked to find me in this ratty robe, especially if I’m only home for lunch.

    2. I’m a horrible rapper, even though I look like I would be good at it (I know, I know, racial bias). I’m actually much better at singing Taylor Swift (I can hit those high notes. Holla).

    3. I drive the speed limit unless a cop is around. Then I kick it up to five miles over. You know, gotta impress 5-0.

    4. I went spinning once and it roughed my body up so much I was out of commission for a week. My friends all think I got surgery on my gall bladder instead.

    5. I enjoy bubble baths. ‘Nuff said.

    Wow, that felt good. Thanks, REBECCA.

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