LaLaBec’s NYE Bash: The Aftermath

New Years Eve turned out to be more terrifying than magical, but only to the outsider looking in. To us, we felt that our imaginary party surpassed magical. We all got pretend wasted and fake made out with one another at midnight. If it had been real, we would all still be on bed rest with mono. Yeah. And of course there was that game of musical underwears. It got weird in all the right places.

new year's eve

What we definitely did not look like. Except for Bill, who totally looked like that guy in the front, but instead he was chugging Mountain Dew.

Everyone who attended had their own special time at the party. None of the guests remember a lick of the evening, but luckily I had a camera hidden in that bonsai tree everyone kept trying to eat, so that we could all relive it. Hold on to your aspirin.

After La La and I linked our arms in a fancy fashion and did a get-the-party-started-shot out of some vases she found lying around, the first guests started to arrive. First was none other than Rich, Twindaddy, and Calahan who all arrived riding a tandem bicycle. They looked dashing. Especially Rich, who already had a margarita in one hand and a package of depends in the other. He thought it would be funny. It was. After all, we did instruct guests to bring a change of underwear.

Before Twindaddy could even set up the YouTube streaming videos of people doing the stanky leg, we heard a discerning clatter coming from the back yard. Or the roof. This one I am hazy on. It was David Stewart, of course. His homemade helicopter was painted in purple animal print. At first we were confused, but then Renee hopped out screaming, “Sir Mix-A-Lot is getting a run for his money tonight!”. That made more sense and was refreshing to hear.

Speaking of refreshing, as more guests started to arrive we all started coming up with drink concoctions. Emily set up a drink stand in the kitchen that had a sign reading, “Enhanced Lemonade” with a winking smiley face drawn on it. Le Clown later broke this sign in half using only his nose. He didn’t even smudge his new clown make-up.

Sarah brought plenty of tequila  which me and La La hoarded all night, and Cathy and India brought some other inferior liquors. Just kidding. No liquor is inferior. And Cathy, I had no idea you could down a gin and tonic through Adam‘s beer bong like that. Impressive. Good thing JackieP was on standby with the water to hydrate us all, until she found the room with the clapper light and disappeared for the rest of the night.

We didn’t just drown ourselves in booze. There was also a feast. It had resemblance to the imaginary feast in the movie Hook.

hook

Despite the rumors, this is not how The (actual) Hook showed up to the party. He wore his bellman’s uniform as requested, and everyone threw ones at him thinking he was a stripper.

Vyvacious brought some gourmet batman looking stuff to the table which started a chain reaction. Everyone started whipping out their treats. Not those kinds of treats. Adam is brought a cheese ball. Lori brought an edible insect that I stayed away from, because I wasn’t sure what it was. I ate Weeb’s desert instead. She got kind of mad. To top it all off, I found Lauren frying chicken in the kitchen with mmkng (hello, hello kitty underwear!). They were whispering to each other, “Be vewy vewy careful” and snickering madly.

By the way, who was naked in the pantry? I am looking at you MissFourEyes. I know Pigeon Heart was probably in there too, giving you a full body tattoo.

Suddenly, about ten till midnight, the famous bromantic couple Brother Jon and David Harding busted through the door. Brother Jon brought the ultimate party platter of bagel bites, pickles, and pizza rolls, and David had everyone fist dancing simultaneously. Naturally, but very unnaturally. He was also chanting something about giants ruling. The only one not fist dancing was Amy. She was swaying in the wind like  a willow.

As the clock struck twelve, and I frantically searched for Calahan, Le Clown raised his sparkling water to which everyone fell silent. He made a toast that was too beautiful to be translated. Or, I am just rusty on my French. We all had a moment of silence for the absent Jillian and Ridicuryder who decided it would be bad for his abstinence to show up to a party with women, booze, and underwear celebrations.

Then everyone became one.

I slipped out of the kissing cluster just in time to find Calahan, who was nuzzling in the corner with Jack and humming the tune of All By Myself . I didn’t dare interrupt him.

As guest finally started making the trek home, I made sure to warn everyone not to disturb Maddie who passed out on the front yard sidewalk with Moses’s tie on. As the number of party people dwindled, La La and I took a much-needed seat on the front porch. As I lit my last cigarette, we saw Carrie and Jules stealing the tandem bicycle. They had a large bag tied to the back.

Just before they turned out of sight, I watched three identical thinking crowns fall out of the bag and skip across the asphalt. “So much for the party favors” I though, just before I gave in to sleep.

Bonus: LaLaBec Productions Out Take

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About becca3416

Becca Cord is a twenty-something year old southern ballerina turned humor writer and video editor. Having lived in Louisiana her entire life, she is now perusing her travel dreams while starting her own free-lance Web Marketing business and organizing a nation wide blogging event, Blogger Interactive. She believes one of her callings is making people laugh, and she intends to do so. You can find Becca on her personal blog, Facebook page, or Twitter @becca25tofly.

Posted on January 9, 2013, in Adventures, Humor, Silly and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 207 Comments.

  1. Oh my goodness. I hope the clean-up job wasn’t too epic!

  2. Best. Party Ever. I was totes there in spirit – I felt the energy from you guys as I stumbled into my room – bleary eyed from work and falling into bed. It made me shiver.

    Then I passed out with you. In spirit.

  3. it’s just that my dessert looked so yummy, and I was so excited to eat it, and then all of a sudden, gone! Fortunately I loaded up on Emily’s Enhanced Lemonade and Brother Jon’s awesome party platter, so all was not lost. Fantastic do, ladies, let’s do it again next New Year’s Eve!!!

  4. Holy comments Batman!

    You smoke cigarettes?

  5. “Musical underwears?” What are the rules? lol This sounds like a lot of fun!

    “He made a toast that was too beautiful to be translated.” Whatever the toast, it’s a grand event when a person’s words become tangible in the presence of our mind. This New Years sounded like an epic memory you have been blessed with!

    I enjoyed the read.

  6. I normally bring a helmet on NYE anyway, but usually there aren’t any bikes involved.

    This was such a great idea!

  7. This is why you weren’t on Chatroulette, all makes sense now.

  8. Becca, nice job! (It’s still a bit fuzzy though)

  9. You know what? Come midnight that backstabbing Aussie (DAVID HARDING) was no where to be found. I bet he was hanging out with Mooselicker, at a different party. See if I share my pizza rolls with him again!!

  10. I knew I shouldn’t have started drinking so early.
    Sorry I missed the bash :(
    Red

  11. Naked debauchery. Glad I escaped it on the tandem bicycle! Thanks for the mention and for a good laugh. :)

  12. That was an amazing party, LaLaBec. With you guys hosting how could it not be? I love dancing like a willow.

  13. I would clap at how wonderful it all was, but the doctor suggested I give up clapping for a while. My hands are still bandaged up. I even have a hard time typing, but I’m managing. It was fun! I did peek through the door at everyone else in between all my clapping. Ah, the stories I could tell!

  14. Nice thing about virtual parties is that the dry cleaning bils are so much lower afterwards.
    Sometimes.

  15. Reblogged this on and commented:
    Becca wrote about the LaLaBec NYE Bash! It was our party and we made out if we (I) wanted to….

  16. That Sir-Mix-A lot was exhausted when I was done with him. He so loved my butt. Cuz I’ve got a huge one! It took him two hands to hold it all! I made sure to dance the night away and kiss all the other boys in the room too. Damn what a terrific night we had! Can’t wait for next year. I’ll be sure to bring a couple changes of underwear so I can stay a couple extra days. Giggle, snort!

  17. I’m disappointed to know that nobody was able to enjoy my stanky leg videos, but relieved to know I was able to keep my armor on all night. Also, did anyone reprimand MissFourEyes for blogging instead of partying? In the closet, no less?

  18. It was a great party. The tandem bike ride with Rich and Twindaddy was just the right amount of exercise I needed to get my personality just slightly past silent to that perfect amount of awkward. Jack was a great companion at midnight and didn’t mind my singing one bit. In fact, he began kneading once I hit the high notes, which I took as a compliment. I thought that Jack would be my way to get closer to Becca, but, alas, no one to kiss at midnight. Okay, that’s not true. At midnight, Jack spit a hairball on me, which I took as a cat kiss.

    By the way, Rich, you kept handing me your increasingly filled bag of used Depends and promised to pick it up before the party was over. I still have the bag and I don’t know what I should do with it. Let me know where to send it, man. I don’t have the space for it.

  19. Guys… Guys… Guys… I drank too much. I DON’T REMEMBER ANY OF THIS. I’m sorry… I have a problem. Also why would I leave my tie behind?

  20. okay, i’m my defense on what i brought to the party – you might forget our conversation when we on the tandem bike were on our way there. i said, “i’m on my way to CVS to get the extra-large condoms you wanted. is there anything else i should get?” and you said, “Depends…” i wasn’t able to SEE the ellipsis over the phone, so i got what i thought you were requesting.

  21. That was one great party that I never went to. Oh, I was there, but Moses offered to help me with the champagne I was carrying, and I never made it into the house. He suggested we make sure the bubbly was fit for a LaLaBec party, so we sat on the lawn for some samples. That is one fun dude. The rest is history. I’m glad I didn’t wake with marker drawings on my face.

  22. La La Bec,

    You guys just didn’t recognize me without my helmet on. It was before Midnight (and the start of my project) with Alexandra Livingston…….La La may still be a little tequila fuzzy about the magic. I did leave before midnight.

    Happy New Year smooch you later,
    RidicuRyder

  23. Sounds like a lovely party. Much better than my party with the dogs. Happy New Year, Becca.

  24. someone’s naked in the pantry …..why do I think there’s a song like that? There should be a song like that!!!!!!
    Woops. Too excited. I’m still a little drunk. You really shouldn’t keep your inferior liquors in the pantry

  25. It was an amazing party! How could it not be with you two as hostesses and such a great crowd. WordPress attracts the coolest people! Thanks for the recap, Becca as I do not remember a single thing about it…

  26. I wondered where the hell my tequila ran off to. Luckily I only brought Jose. Had I brought Sir Petron, well I think we need not go there. ;)

  27. Becca, I made the treat I brought in the SHAPE of an insect. You missed out. It was really rum-velvet cake. Lauren doesn’t remember, but she bit the head off of it and then went back to the tequila. (yes, she bit the head off of it … the cake … the rum cake).

  28. They threw ONES?
    ONES?
    Thanks for the ego boost, Becca! No wonder I’ve suppressed that memory…

  29. Hahaha! Awesome, and stuff! So sorry I missed out.

  30. workspousestory

    Hahaha loving it! By the way, that inferior liquor I brought was Jaegermeister. Horrendous on its own, but soooooooo loooooovely dropped into Red Bull ;)

  31. This is the perfect summary, Becca! What a good time we had kissing everyone. And stuff. And stuff. And stuff.

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