Lunch Break Wins and Fails

It’s payday, so I got to go drop off my check at the bank: WIN

So did everyone else in the entire city, at the very same bank: FAIL

Someone tell that kid to stop staring at my soul please.

Someone tell that kid to stop staring at my soul please.

I got a really rare flavored Dum Dum sucker from the teller: WIN

I left it in the tube: FAIL

bubble gum dum dum

I don’t know why this excites me. I don’t even like suckers.

I ignored my better judgement and decided to eat McDonalds: WIN

I realized I have a problem with french fries when the lady in the car next to me sheilded her children’s eyes from the sight of me smashing them into my face: FAIL

how i eat fries alone

The first step is acknowledgment…

I checked my WordPress app to see I have exceeded 19, 000,000 views: EPIC WIN

I am utterly dilusional: EPIC FAIL

wordpress stats

Stupid App.

 

Nothing fell out of my Big Mac when I removed it from the box: WIN

I Immediately bit into a pickle: FAIL

 

I found honey to dip my obesity sticks in: WIN

My fingers now stick to the keyboard: FAIL

first world problems

I can’t play on the internet with sticky fingers. It’s so unfair.

Remember kids, french fries should never be eaten individually, but always in groups.

It feels good to be back to silly.

 

becca cord signature

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About Becca Cord

Becca Cord is a twenty-something year old southern ballerina turned humor writer and video editor. Having lived in Louisiana her entire life, she is now perusing her travel dreams while starting her own free-lance Web Marketing business and organizing a nation wide blogging event, Blogger Interactive. She believes one of her callings is making people laugh, and she intends to do so. You can find Becca on her personal blog, Facebook page, or Twitter @becca25tofly.

Posted on December 14, 2012, in Humor, Silly and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 99 Comments.

  1. I hate days like that. Why can’t it just be win/win?

  2. Wait, you dip french fries in honey??

    Pickles are the worst. I’m sorry you bit into one. It takes too long to get that taste out of your mouth!

  3. Dumb, stupid app indeed. We have chips here and wedges. You only find fries if you happen to stumble ino Maccy D’s (and goodness knows how THAT would happen. Ahem). I reckon one chip = approx five fries and one wedge = approx 10 fries. And I don’t eat THOSE one by one. Maybe I shouldn’t admit that.

  4. ha ha … I first looked at the views number and wondered how the comma got misplaced. Keep up the good work.

  5. My Friend, I have nominated you for the Very Inspiring Blogger Award.

    http://thebottomofabottle.wordpress.com/2012/12/16/carols-candles-congratulations/

    Thank you so much for supporting and inspiring me on my journey, it means so much.

    Wayne

  6. Ha! Oh wow. I love that french fry picture. French fries are my ultimate weakness. French fry low for me is dipping the Wendy’s ones in Frosties. But I haven’t done that in a while… ahem.

  7. Thank you for making me smile when I was really sad about the shooting~ I needed this.

    I thought I was the only one that liked to shove huge amounts of food items in their maw.

  8. Awww thats cute! We both eat fries the same way, as if the world will end if those fries aren’t in our mouth.

  9. Reading your post this morning started my day off with a good chuckle. :)
    Your stats…awesome win!
    One fry at a time…no way, at least two…lol
    Have a great day! :)

    • I am glad that you could start your day in a good mood. I am even more glad that I had a hand in that! Thanks Deb (those stats are deceiving if you take a second look ;) )

  10. Fries must be eaten like if it was your first meal in ages and your last.

  11. Holy cats, I consider it a win if I get to eat lunch on my lunch break!

  12. That first woman in line looks like she wants to murder you.
    Run fast!

  13. I love you little bit more each and every post.

  14. Following/loving Becca before she was famous and feeling pretty darn smug about it: WIN! … Here is my FAIL for today: Ran through a Burger King quick and grabbed sweet potato curly fries. I sort of set the container into the cup holder between the seats. I left the BK lot, someone pulled out in front of me, and I slammed on my brakes. The curly fries went flying all over the floor. They smelled good all the way home. Threw them into the yard for the critters.

  15. This was classic Becca! I loved it.

  16. I hate biting into a pickle. It just ruins the whole damn meal.

  17. 19 million??!!! Insanity! Awesome. Congrats! And I love to occasionally smash obesity sticks into my face, too. Mmm.

  18. I was already giggling when reading the post but when I saw your EPIC FAIL I started chortling. LOUDLY. Luckily, my coworkers are used to it now.

  19. I’m just happy you like Natalie Dee comics. I can’t get enough of her. Also, have you ever had In N Out french fries? Be ready for your world to change..

  20. Becca, do you like poetry?

  21. 19 million! Well gollee Miss Becca! You sure are popular!

  22. Holy crap 19million views?

  23. You should have eaten your McDonalds in the bank queue, Becca. That would have made everyone feel better! :D Especially fifteen at a time… it’s how they were designed to be eaten in the first place!!!

  24. McDonald’s? Oh, Becca… how could you? I always envisioned you smelling like strawberries and camomille, not vegetable oil that’s been in constant use since 1971.

    By the way, the 19 million views thing was hilarious.

  25. 1) Are you sure it was your soul the kid was staring at?
    2) I’m guessing you don’t like pickles?
    3) How many of these question do you have to answer until your sticky fingers actually got STUCK to the keyboard?
    4) When they do get stuck to the keyboard, have a coworker take a picture and post it on your blog later once your hands are free. That would be funny.

  26. Pickles are definitely an unpleasant thing to find unexpectedly in a burger.

  27. Remind me to get individual orders of fries when we go out. Not because you have a problem. Because it’s adorable that you think YOU have a problem. You haven’t seen problem yet.

  28. Haha! I was like; seriously!? About the 19000000 views. Then I saw the picture and I felt really dumb. Laughed my ass off at the French fries part.

    *Flaboosh!* <that's a sound effect i'm working on.

  29. Total views – total French fries eaten = win

  30. does your workplace offer direct deposit?

  31. La Becca,
    You are Le Clown’s protégée: WIN.
    That will end tomorrow: FAIL.
    Le Clown

    • It’s the end of an era, but also the beginning of another…

      • Becca,
        Dude, you’ve so fucking taken off, sweetie…
        I’m so very happy for you. Now how about you fly our way, and take our daughter away… I did not say this. No, I did not. I will deny everything.
        Le Clown

        • We will stay up all hours of the night taking over. With her cuteness level, I will barely have to do any work. Even an exorcism will not be able to help the internet after we are done.

          Thank you for everything, you hear me? EVERYTHING.

          Love, your little blogging prodigy

      • Just when you think you got a hold of it, it slips away.

  1. Pingback: Hey You, I Think You’re Fly | 25ToFly

  2. Pingback: Carols, Candles & Congratulations | The Bottom of a Bottle

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