Kill You With A Smile

hitman

Yes, I am just happy to see you. [You can thank Le Clown for Photoshopping this].

So, I have learned something. I would be a horrible riddle book writer. Apparently, not only was my post yesterday thrown together too late, but my clues were too easy, and that asshole Aneroidocean ruined the what I thought would be fun little guessing game for everyone (by the way, can you please stop being an asshole and write an about me page already?).

To everyone else, please accept my new look and bulging crotch as an apology. Sorry Rich. Am I ruining your session?

None of this matters of course, because I am still basking in the glow of my own little session. The past two nights have been an ongoing threesome between me, my TV, and my PS3. All of my buttons were pushed (literally) and all parties reached their checkpoints, if you know what I mean. All I know is that I am glad it is finally the weekend, because these late nights aren’t doing anything for my complexion (as you can see above).

On another less weird note, Jillian Levi is at it again. She won a bunch of those awards and mentioned me as a nominee for this thing:

Blog of the Year Award banne

When I should really be winning creepiest post title of the year.

Like with the last award someone tossed down to me, I won’t participate in paying this forward, because… it takes too much time. I am just being honest here. Plus, I wouldn’t want people thinking I am actually a decent blogger who helps encourage others. I am a hitman now god dammit.

I will, however, thank Jillian from the bottom of my LJs. You are one of the very few who has been here reading from the beginning. Back when I didn’t use tags. Back when my domain name didn’t even match my blog name. Back before clowns were photoshopping my head onto things. Forget the blog of the year award, I am giving you the follower of the year award. Thanks for always making me smile Jillian.

Five things about me:

1. I like to sit on my coffee table as opposed to on the couch.

2. I never sleep under sheets.

3. When I walk up stairs I count each step in eights.

4. I like to wear rings on my thumbs because it makes me feel famous.

5. I buy flowers for myself every time I go to the grocery store. I’m my own best boyfriend.

That’s all until Monday. I have to stop avoiding the inevitable and finish making that vlog I have kept you all on your toes about. If all goes well, the Movember winners will be revealed on Monday! I’m amped up. Are you amped up? You better be amped up.

becca cord signature

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About Becca Cord

Becca Cord is a twenty-something year old southern ballerina turned humor writer and video editor. Having lived in Louisiana her entire life, she is now perusing her travel dreams while starting her own free-lance Web Marketing business and organizing a nation wide blogging event, Blogger Interactive. She believes one of her callings is making people laugh, and she intends to do so. You can find Becca on her personal blog, Facebook page, or Twitter @becca25tofly.

Posted on November 30, 2012, in Awards, Humor, Silly and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 65 Comments.

  1. Congrats on the award. I can just see you sitting on the coffee table while you game with the bling from your rings dazzling everyone as your thumbs kill, kill, kill!

  2. I still say you look smokin’ in that photo. Now do you sit on your coffee table for the whole night instead of the couch? I can see if you’re playing video games, that might be helpful. But I think my ass would hurt a lot if I did that for prolonged periods of time. And I very much like that you buy yourself flowers all the time. Who better to buy flowers for, right??

    • Thank you. I think I look like a true ladies sheman. The coffee table phenomenon is strange. Sometimes I sit on the couch, but most of the time I somehow transition to the coffee table Indian style with my mouth open. It’s embarrassing.

      My creative friend got me started on the flowers thing. I t really grew on me. Now I can’t NOT buy them. Which isn’t equally as good for my bank account.

  3. Hey Sausage-Pants-Magic-Hands, Congrats Blogger o’the year ~ or Yogger o’the Blear….

  4. Is it wrong that that photo excites me?

  5. Scary photo!! I might have to have therapy now. Or admit to my Novice Guardian just how much time I waste on the internet… *shudders in horror*

  6. That pic is freaking me out!

  7. It’s so weird because I always imagined you approaching me while holding a gun. hmm.

    I don’t understand your aversion to sleeping under sheets. Do you not own sheets? Do you need me to buy you some for Xmas?

    • I am kind of sad to hear that. Unless you imagined it in the context that I just saved the world from zombies and I am walking towards you for my “you’re my hero” kiss.

      I have sheets. I sleep on top of them. I can’t handle two different layers of cover. If I sleep under them I dream in double.

  8. So I was going to be an asshole until I realized that the about page I’d written, I never linked to on the page. Talk about Blog 101 Failure.

    Thanks were in order:

    http://aneroidocean.wordpress.com/2012/11/30/about-me/

  9. I’m sure it’s just the picture, but once I got past the bulge, you seem kind of short… you should make sure you have the Empire State Building next to you – for scale you know.

  10. Is that a jock-cup or are you just pleased to see me/us? Ditto on the ‘back when I used to be a clueless rookie blogger’ stuff, it behooves us not to forget our usually humble beginnings!

  11. What? Becca the gamer? * blog crush activated*

    Ps3 forever!

    Is Hitman really that good? I’m much more of a commit grand theft auto kind of guy.

    • Timmer! I have been waiting for you to say that! *swoon*

      I have enjoyed it so far (obviously and maybe too much) . I don’t know if you ever played past versions (the only one I played before was Hitman: Blood Money) but they are both badass in their own right. This one is just more intricate in what you can do and seems to be thicker plot line than what I remember of Blood Money.

      I like GTA, but definitely favor first person shooters (with the exception of any Mario game, duh). Left4Dead was my second obsession after Blood Money, but they only made it for Xbox (which belonged to an ex boyfriend). Should have never gone halvsies on that game! I could go on and on. PS3 is definitely the superior console though.

      Elope in Vegas? Ready when you are.

      • Oh man, I had to ween off of most FPS. I was getting twitchy. I haven’t been on my PS3 a lot lately, because I’m saving myself for all the hours I’m going to dump into The Last of Us and the new GTA (DUH!). I’ve never played Hitman, BUT I just might have to check out if I can pull myself away from Minecraft.

        …Oh and I think it would work between us. Because we’d never have to share our consoles :P

  12. Le Clown did a great job on the Photoshop. I dont know whether to like you or fear you. ALSO, why are you buying flowers for yourself? Some awesome guy out there probably thinks you’re taken. BOOM! I wonder if you thought of that? He’s probably thinking, “Damn she’s got a great boyfriend I think I’ll leaver her alone.” OR that you have a really sick family member.

  13. We’re sort of the same. Massive bulges, I buy flour whenever I do the shopping, I can count to 8, etc.

  14. Domain name matches the blog name… is that where I’m going wrong? Hmmm…
    Welldones on your award, Becca! I have to say, though, and don’t take this the wrong way, you look kind of menacing in that picture. I don’t exactly know why…

    • Thank you Tom. Menacing is what I was going for.

      I don’t think it matters if you MEANT to have a different domain name. I just goofed when I first made mine and typed 25andfly instead of 25tofly. I had to buy my domain to change it. See?

  15. At first thought I felt that that picture ruined it for me, well not the picture just seeing your pretty face on top some dudes body with a lot of crotch-al tension. But then again I’m sure you’ll flash that smile of yours and all will be well. You have an awesome blog and deserve all the awards you can get and then some :-)

  16. That picture ruined it for me, well not the picture just seeing your pretty face on top some dudes body with crotch-al tension. But then again I’m sure you’ll flash that smile of yours and all will be well.

    You have an awesome blog and deserve all the awards you can get and then some :-)

  17. Oh, you so deserve this! Are you Bond, Becca Bond, now? Lovely photo! I think #3 must be the ballerina in you. #5 is awfully sweet. Maybe I should do this. It will be the only way I get flowers. Whaa.

  18. Oh my….Becca. That is a beautiful bulging crotch, it really becomes you.

  19. Hey, my vision seems to be getting better.

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