“Update” is Such a Boring Title

Four tanks of gas in four days: $240.00

Beer, beer, and more beer: $50.00

Welcome home dinner from yourself to yourself: $20.00

Returning to your blog: Priceless

brass monkey

Nothing will make you focus more than a brass monkey’s exposed asshole.

That’s right. Everyone chill the fuck out. I am back. I even brought you some monkey bum. He is responsible for my absence. Come on, you would be distracted too if this was the only space in which you could work. I mean, why is he so adamant on picking up that over sized marble? Can he even lift it? Why am I turned on?

Actually, the more important question here is where the hell my mom bought this “decor”. Obviously, I have been home visiting family for the Thanksgiving holiday for the past four days. Now it is back to what makes the world go round blogging. Here is what’s up for this week:

I will be putting together the list of names to be entered in my Movember drawing along with whether or not each person’s name will be entered once or twice. Don’t let this stop you if you haven’t donated and still want to do so at the last minute. You have until Friday which is when I plan to publish the list. I will be continually checking to make sure I include any last-minute donaters. Procrastination only means that your life is too complex and intriguing to plan ahead, and that is acceptable in my book.

The list will serve to make sure that I haven’t missed anyone/left anyone out, so help me out and be sure to check yo’self before you wreck a forklift. No, that’s not right. See why I need help?

The winner announcement video will be up by next week.

I will also be working on a few more collaborations in between all of this excitement, so sit your ass down and get comfortable. Just not brass monkey comfortable (if you know what I mean). You can unbutton just that top button if you are from the US though. I know you ate too much this weekend. We don’t judge here. Unless you are pigeon-toed. But even then, we aren’t too harsh.

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About Becca Cord

Becca Cord is a twenty-something year old southern ballerina turned humor writer and video editor. Having lived in Louisiana her entire life, she is now perusing her travel dreams while starting her own free-lance Web Marketing business and organizing a nation wide blogging event, Blogger Interactive. She believes one of her callings is making people laugh, and she intends to do so. You can find Becca on her personal blog, Facebook page, or Twitter @becca25tofly.

Posted on November 26, 2012, in Humor, Silly, Travel and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 56 Comments.

  1. I’m wearing sweats so it’s all good. I find the brass monkey…interesting.

  2. Love that you’re back. Do not love that I don’t own that monkey.

  3. Your mother is awesome, obviously, but are you really going to question her on buying that? Really? Do you really want to know?

  4. Sounds like you had a good holiday. Your mom is awesome.

  5. You came back fiesty. I like it!

  6. You do plan on rigging it so I win, right? Right?!

  7. Welcome back, the monkey is a great asset

  8. You being back makes my heart pitter patter. :)

    And it’s ok that monkey butt distracted you – for strewth, I too twas distracted fore score and seven years ago…

    Also, sounds like you’re doing a lot of work. Exhausting! ^.^

    • Aww. You’re so sweet Jillian.

      It is a bit taxing trying to balance between my paying job and delivering my best to all of you, but I love it! A break here and there is always good to reset your brain.

  9. That monkey is amazing. Your mom was correct to buy that.

  10. YAY! you’re gonna do a video! Oh happy day! Oh Happy Day!

    Nice monkey butt! (I knew you were in to butt stuff). I can see from your photo that your adobe update needs to be done. (Be sure to update adobe ok!?)

    Also glad you’re ok. You disappeared for 4 days and the blogging world was worried.

    • I know right? You all get to see my cat hair covered residence and watch me try NOT to be weird on camera.

      No, apparently my MOM is into butt stuff. Oh god why?

      Fuck Adobe!

      Glad y’all were concerned and not celebrating :)

  11. Welcome back!

    There was a rumor that the real reason for your absence involved a starring role in a “film” entitled “The Devil in Miss Becca” The tagline was: “She’s the hottest thing in Hell – and beyond!” It was also rumored that the film would create a spike in sales of men’s long johns…

    But I didn’t buy into that. I know you’d only do tasteful films that have at least a four-page script…

    I’m kidding, of course! You’ve been missed, you crazy chick!

  12. Welcome back you and your mom’s monkey butt. Why does that sound so wrong?

  13. Welcome back, Becca! I hope you a had a nice holiday. I’d have to relocate the monkey. Hey, I’m in the drawing, right? Just making sure.

  14. It’s good to have you back! The tweeto- and blogosphere wasn’t the same without your sound effects!

    (That monkey’s middle eye keeps staring at me… It’s mesmerizing…)

  15. Good to see you, and glad your mom got a conversation piece for the revelries!

  16. Becca,
    You are rocking this with your gonads out!
    Le Clown

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