Oh Dad

As promised, and to avoid angering the blogging gods ultimately ruining my internet karma, today’s post is inspired by “Faddah Friday” or “Funny Dad Friday”. Started by Brother Jon, or more officially,  Jonathan (control your excitement Rutabaga), I am excited to share with you a post in this style. You might even gain some insight as to how I became the way I am, but I doubt it.

On Cars

My dad is a car maintenance enthusiast. Sometimes I think he is a car mechanic instead of a salesman. He once had the same truck for like fifteen years. That thing had about 500,000 miles on it. He also taught me to drive in that same truck when I was eight, then again when I was fourteen, and once more when I was actually of legal age. He also forgave me that time I backed into the house… eventually. Here a few things I learned from him on the subject:

  • Every vehicle is a “truck”. Even these:
little car

“How’s the truck running?” – Every phone call from Dad ever.

  • Cars need oil changes and tires need air.
  • Egg does not come off of car paint once you let it dry and bake in the sun.
  • Three things you should always keep in your car include: some kind of strawberry flavored air freshener, Ice Breakers gum, and a coffee mug.

Speaking of Food and Beverage

My dad is responsible for molding my coffee drinking habits. My first cup of coffee was instant coffee. You can stop gagging. Instant coffee will always be my first love. Being addicted an advocate of sweets, my dad made his sugar every morning with just the right dash of Instant Folgers, nuked to the perfect temperature in his truck-cup-holder-friendly coffee mug of course. I would continue this java legacy up until college when I discovered Starbucks vanilla lattes. Here are a few of my dad’s thoughts on dining:

  • The perfect snack includes Potato chips dipped in ketchup and washed down with a glass of milk. If you give a dad a potato chip… (bonus points for whoever knows the reference).
potato chips and ketchup

The perfect stocking stuffer.

  • Honey Buns are acceptable for any meal.
  • Milk does not really expire.
  • The sound of chewing ice deteriorates his brain.

 On Other Things

  • The history channel shall forever remain the most interesting thing on cable, and The Hangover is NOT funny.
  • You can never have too many pictures of your family, even if they are all awkwardly forced.
  • Sleeping anywhere is more comfortable than sleeping in a bed. Especially the floor.
  • A decent CD collection includes Rod Stewart, Eric Clapton, and The Blues Travelers. I attest to this.
  • Left-overs also never go bad

Love you Dad.

Hey wait! Don’t leave yet. There is only one more day to vote on my mustache for Movember. Right now, mini long johns is in the lead. If you were rooting for a Jackstache, please keep voting. The photo reveal will be Monday, accompanied by a post at a different but familiar location. Also, I will be out-of-town this weekend visiting my new godchild and participating in the New Orleans Color Run. Be on the look out later next week for posts about that and also another mystery guest post involving make-out sessions and some very special effects. Have a *fly* weekend everyone!

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About becca3416

Becca Cord is a twenty-something year old southern ballerina turned humor writer and video editor. Having lived in Louisiana her entire life, she is now perusing her travel dreams while starting her own free-lance Web Marketing business and organizing a nation wide blogging event, Blogger Interactive. She believes one of her callings is making people laugh, and she intends to do so. You can find Becca on her personal blog, Facebook page, or Twitter @becca25tofly.

Posted on November 16, 2012, in Home, Humor and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 91 Comments.

  1. Your dad soudns pretty darned cool!

  2. Yeah, no I get it. Chips dunked in ketchup is all the rage in Paris.

  3. I like your dad. He and I would definitely be bros! HF

  4. I’m getting the whole Buster Buttonwood thing now.
    Your dad sounds aces. Nuked coffee yeuch – but I would totally share a potato chip with him.

  5. I love that your dad would call a SMART car a truck. It’s his way of raging against the machine.

  6. The Seattle-ite in me kind of went- UGH instantly nuked coffee! But still your dad sounds cool. I’d get some beers with him.

  7. Thai coffee–Instant nescaf, powdered creamer, about 8 tablespoons of sugar and another couple of condensed milk poured over ice. HEAVEN. Pure HEAVEN. You and your dad should try it.

  8. he should try dipping cheese doodles in spicy brown mustard. it’s fabulous. no really, try it.

    • Don’t ever say fabulous again. And what is a cheese noodle? Sounds dirty.

      • doodle. not noodle. or yours was a typo and you never had cheese doodles.

        why can’t i say fa- that word? is it a girly thing? was that too feminine of me?

        • I must have misread that, and I also have never had a cheese DOodle.

          Fabulous is the only adjective my mother knows. Hearing it forms aneurysms in my brain.

          • aww sorry to have reminded you of someone who causes such headaches. i’ll go with “stamalific” next time. it’s a word i made up in a language arts workshop a few years ago when i wanted to make the presenter look even dumber than she already was.

          • Ill accept that to richism.

          • the workshop was about vocabulary and something called “tiers.” apparently there are three tiers of language/vocabulary that we were learning about. 1 being simple vocabulary and up to 3 which is complex and context-specific vocabulary. we were given a list of words and told to place them in columns 1, 2, or 3. on my paper i drew in a column 4 and made a list of words. and that column was for made up words, and i then made up a list of my own words and definitions because everything else was too boring.

            in boring workshops, i tend to do one of two things – get sarcastic or write a short story. oh, one time i waited for a colleague to go to the restroom. then i took her car keys from her purse and moved her car to a different parking lot. that was fun.

          • I think we need to go to one of these workshops together. I’ll bring the silly string and whoopie cushions.

          • i’ll bring nerf guns and jello shots.

  9. First of all, congratulations on your godchild!
    I like your dad. Trucks, honey buns, and left overs are the best! Especially when combined.

  10. Your dad is very cool. It’s so nice that he loves to have family pictures.

  11. I invite you to have an ice cold beer with me if you ever make it to the left coast.

    P.S. It’ll be a budweiser.

    P.P.S. If more women understood this, less cars would die slow deaths: “Cars need oil changes and tires need air.”

    • Umm, I’m sorry, you live on the west coast and you drunk Bud? That should be against the law.

      • I live in south Louisiana and it’s my dad drinking the buds. I prefer Abita or Michelob Ultra (“water” as most people say).

        • I’m so sorry you guys have such bad taste in beer. Try an IPA… I only say that because I have no good beer here…just amazing coffee which will have to suffice for the next 6 months.

      • Not that anyone should really have to explain themselves regarding what they drink, but:

        Ice cold Budweiser in a frosty pint glass out of the tap here costs me $2 retail, significantly less if I’m getting hooked up. I’d much prefer a Newcastle or a Guinness, but usually stick with the frugal choice considering I live a very short walking distance from the nightlife.

        IPA’s taste like dirt. If I have my choice between flavorless cold beer and dirt-flavored beer I’ll take flavorless over dirt every day of the week.

  12. I guess I’m in the minority because I actually thought the Hangover was funny. Not a laugh-a-minute riot, but funny enough. My dad gave me the gift of Instant Coffee Appreciation too. Except in our house it was always Taster’s Choice instead of Folger’s. But the potato chip/ketchup/milk thing…

  13. Oh no, I’m still laughing at the Hang Over, how does that leave me?

  14. Your milk comment is frightening… My son would love to put ketchup on potato chips – he puts ketchup on his ketchup. My mom LOVED instant coffee and she drank it when I was growing up (hence I did not start drinking coffee (REAL COFFEE) until my late 20s. She loved to let the dregs at the bottom get super cold and then drink that – often getting really upset if I put the cup in the sink before the dregs were drank b/c I foolishly thought the coffee was ‘done’ (apparently, congealed coffee with floatie bits is still delicious).

  15. What is it with dads and instant coffee?! I once convinced my dad to drink Starbucks and he just made gagging noises the entire time. Said he didn’t know how much more of this “princess coffee” he could take. :/

    • Now YOUR dad seems like cool one. Maybe they should have a man date or something. I think the reason dads are so for the instant coffee is the no muss no fuss aspect of it.

  16. He’s right. The Hangover wasn’t funny.

  17. When is your Dad available to go get a beer?

    • You know what. Screw y’all. I have posted 126 posts and not yet has anyone legitimately invited me for a beer. I write ONE post on my dad three hours ago and he already has ten invitations.

      Can I at least tag along? Please?!

      • Sure…as long as your Dad is there too.

      • Of course you could tag along. I’ve told you that if we ever make it down that way that we’d let you know.

        Tammy even said she’d invite my “blogger friends” if we get a 40th party together for me in May. Prolly won’t be close enough for you to join us, but you’d definitely get an invite over your Dad…. We’ll maybe definitely is too strong of a word. hahaha…

        • Ha! Well, I do have his genes so that has to count for something, right? I’d love to come party for the big 4-0, but I may just have to send you a beer via Twitter or something.

  18. Your dad should get together with my mother in law. They both love them some instant coffee. You and I can sit at the kids table together and drink Starbucks.

  19. Ah, this is a sweet post, Becca. Driving at age 8, wow chicky! My dad falls asleep on the floor, too.

  20. Your dad sounds awesome.

    I’m particularly interested in that last part, though. A guest involving make-out sessions and effects? What is that? How would something like that work? Is it a plane? Is it superman? Does it have wheels?

    Wait, I know. The answer’s “sunflower”, isn’t it?

  21. Great answer to the cahllenge, Becca! Your snacking preferences are as cool as your writing style and undergarment choices! That’s a compliment. by the way…

  22. Oh man, that has got to be the grossest snack ever. What about cookies and milk?

    And yes….My Chevy SUV is a Truck, no matter what anyone says.

    The History Ch is good, but I prefer the Travel Ch. Not bad though.
    Good post, thanks for sharing.

  23. Hey, there’s nothing wrong with instant…. its strong and cheap ;) xo

  24. In light of the Hostess closing news, Tammy and I are thinking about going to the Hostess store and stocking up on a variety of things, including Honey Buns.

    I LOVE me some Honey Buns but always feel so bad after I eat them. But that goes away when I hit the next gas station. ;-)

    Oh and Jack’s fur is WINNING now (33% to 30%)!!!

    Totally agree that hanging with Mr. Becca would be a fun time.

    • Mr. Becca! I think he would like that. He would definitely be able to give you some moral support for your fro. He is where I get mine from. In fact, he looked identical to Bobby Brady when he was my age.

      I can hear Jack hiding under my bed and/or demolition everything in my house already.

  25. I think I would also enjoy having a beer with your dad.

  26. I have to agree with your dad on The history channel not so much on the expiration of milk tho

  27. I think I’d enjoy having a beer with your dad.

    But not a meal featuring expired milk and rancid leftover pot roast.

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