Hurricanes Make You Look Skinny

ocean makes my butt look smaller

If you don’t have a beach handy, then just saran wrap that thing. People do this, right?

This Saturday I forced myself to attend my friend’s Halloween party. I had been looking forward to going all week, however when the day presented itself, I felt less than motivated to get dressed up and trot around a party. Plus, the temperature conveniently dropped to a breathtaking forty something at night over the weekend. That’s almost subzero. That’s like dry-ice cold. I know science.

Had it not been for the heating powers of Jim Beam, I surely would have gone into shock or hypothermia or developed frost bite or something equally as dramatic and over exaggerated.

While hiding in the bathroom to regain feeling in my legs, I stumbled across this purely decorative had towel hanging out of the towel closet like it was drunk. Silly decorative hand towel, you don’t go there. I have not a single picture of me and my friends dressed up at the party, but I sure can deliver a picture of some inanimate and insignificant object. It’s not even a Halloween towel for shit’s sake!

At least I could find some use for my unrelated party photo. It’s for you people who are dealing with Sandy and her wrath right now. Don’t forget the pros of the colossal hurricane coming to a shore near you. You (and your bum) will look petite and attractive next to that thing. Not that you weren’t already.

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About Becca Cord

Becca Cord is a twenty-something year old southern ballerina turned humor writer and video editor. Having lived in Louisiana her entire life, she is now perusing her travel dreams while starting her own free-lance Web Marketing business and organizing a nation wide blogging event, Blogger Interactive. She believes one of her callings is making people laugh, and she intends to do so. You can find Becca on her personal blog, Facebook page, or Twitter @becca25tofly.

Posted on October 29, 2012, in Humor, Silly and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 32 Comments.

  1. I used to think the beach was made to make me look even paler than I am (as if that was possible!) but now I know it’s my friend. Thank you, Becca. Thank you.

  2. I’ve never thought about it before, but yes, the ocean, the mountains, the sky…they all make my butt look smaller.

  3. That towel is definitely worth a picture and a spot on your blog!! Ha ha. Nice twist on things. I think people need a good laugh right now. Thanks for sharing :)

  4. I want to follow your blog more than once to save more than one orphan kitty, is that possible? :)

  5. Always look for the silver lining, right?

  6. You needed someone to warm your legs up for you, Becca!
    Great post!

  7. no costume pic? hmmpff.

  8. Honey Badger flew into New York saturday “just for a few days” to go celebrate his new job offer with his little brother. Worst. Timing. Ever. I’m getting live updates. He saw a car float down the street. Saw some transformers ‘splode. The lobby of is brother’s apartment building is in 4′ of water. And he and his brother are sitting in said brother’s apartment “getting hammered and playing pictionary by candlelight.” This is, of course, after they stood on the roof for an hour to watch the power lines throw sparks.

  9. Love Monday Laughs! Thanks! :)

  10. I mean women can saran wrap it up – but I recently had a discussion with a guy friend recently about how if he ever went out with a chick and once the clothes came off it turned out everything was created by: butt-suck-in-stuff, miraculous bras, and corset-like-tops – he’d be incredibly disappointed.

    So I think I’ll just wait for HUGE disasters, and go out then and look petite naturally, just like you suggest ^.^

  11. What was your costume?

  12. Becca, it’s almost a Halloween towel. You can almost make the word Halloween out of all the letters!

  13. Great reasons to love the ocean #474. Love that towel

  14. Thanks for the laugh, Becca. Love that towel. :).

  15. I love the ocean too. Just not when it’s slopping around the front door…

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