Day 26 at My Not So Gem of a Gym

bad personal trainer

What this tale didn’t look like. Mostly, because I was on a treadmill, and I am surprisingly not a ripped black man. The rest is pretty accurate.

A while ago I wrote a post about the not so welcoming demeanor of my gym’s personell and other unfortunate events that occur in my place of workout. After I wrote the post, I wondered if it was all in my head… until yesterday.

I will pat myself on the back a bit by saying that this marks my sixth week of training for the color run in New Orleans in November. My regimen has been a full hour-long workout, five days a week. Actually, next time you receive a comment from me, I will most likely be posting it from either the treadmill, stationary bicycle, or the locker room where I am stealing towels. Wait, what?

The way I train is to run in intervals. This week, I have worked my way up to running six-minute intervals broken up by one minute of walking. I repeat that five times. Anyway, yet another odd interaction happened to me yesterday during my run.

I was jamming to Alanis in attempts to get that angry run going. I had only gotten through two intervals when the owner of the gym scared the endorphins out of me approached me in a normal manner. He practically jumped on the belt and started running with me. After realizing that he was actually just trying to talk to me, I slowed down to a brisk walk and unplugged my ears. This is the conversation that ensued:

Mr. Oblivious-to-Personal-Space: “Where are you going?”

Me (confused and trying not to hyperventilate in his face): “Uh, *gasp* I wasn’t *gulp* aware I was *gasp* going anywhere. After all, *gasp* I am on a treadmill, aren’t I?”

Mr. I-Stare-At-You-Working Out: “Are you going to work or something?”

Me (my WTF face is now starting to show): “Uh, I just got off work, why would I go back? Again, aren’t I on a treadmill?”

Mr. Keeps-Offering-Me-Something-Called-An-Alignment-Session: “The system gave us a notice that you are revoking your membership. Are you moving out of the apartments for work or something?”

Me (a little annoyed that he has taken up my whole walking minute): “You must have the wrong girl.”

Mr. I-Shouldn’t-Interrupt-People-While-They-Are-Sweating-Profusely-Because-it-Might-Be-Awkward: “No, I saw your face when it came up in the computer.”

Me (desperately. need. sip. of. water!): “Unless I am being evicted, and they decided to tell you before me, I can assure you I am not moving or canceling my free membership. That would be silly. I am in here all of the time.”

Mr. We-Obviously-Don’t -Like-Your-Kind-Around-Here: “We will have to check that out.”

We will have to check that out? What does that mean? It sounded so skeptical. I feel this is definitely some elaborate conspiracy to kick me out of the gym. I know my keys take up a lot of room on the key hook, sometimes I forget to scan my card, and on occasion I have mindlessly stolen a towel or two from the locker room, but come on! To top things off, The Attractive Male from 301 has ceased his gym visits all together now. I am afraid my doom is inevitable.

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About Becca Cord

Becca Cord is a twenty-something year old southern ballerina turned humor writer and video editor. Having lived in Louisiana her entire life, she is now perusing her travel dreams while starting her own free-lance Web Marketing business and organizing a nation wide blogging event, Blogger Interactive. She believes one of her callings is making people laugh, and she intends to do so. You can find Becca on her personal blog, Facebook page, or Twitter @becca25tofly.

Posted on October 16, 2012, in Fitness, Humor and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 70 Comments.

  1. Gyms are the devil. Even if populated by the laziest, most uncoordinated people in the greater Northwest area, I still feel self-conscious working out in a gym. Plus, I have a big-ass dog who needs exercising, too, so jogging outdoors it is. And three-foot high snow drifts? Resistance training, baby!

  2. Clearly auditioning for Mr Personality of the Year, that bloke… I mean, why on earth do people try to speak to folks in the middle of their work-out? He could have just asked to speak to you when you were done (but I guess that’s too much like common sense). Another thought is that once on the treadmill you’re kind of a sitting duck – you can’t have a conversation with someone who’s swimming lengths, but someone who’s essentially running on the spot could be considered fair game.

    I think that’s why I don’t like gyms, but oddly enough I do like treadmills!

    • I thought it was common sense not to interrupt people working out PERIOD, but I guess not. I actually hate treadmills, but they are the best way to work out with accuracy. Plus air conditioner.

  3. Have a water bottle handy, so when he surprises you, you can do a spit take in his face.

  4. My advice is: the next time someone asks you a bizarre question like that, answer with an obscure quote from Shakespeare. It works for Sting. :)

  5. Becca, that guy is SOOO trying to pick up on you. Hasn’t got a clue but I think he’s trying awfully hard. Was he cute? I’m guessing no.That’s too bad! Brava for training for your run and working out so hard. Is your gym connected to your apartment?

    • You think? I don’t know, he is probably in his late 50′s and married. Had it been someone closer to my age and cute, I may have overlooked the abruptness ;). Thanks for the brava, I have grown to really get into running!

      Yes, the gym is connected to the apartment complex.

      • Well…maybe not. Could be he’s trying to flirt? Cool about the running. I ran a half marathon last year and was planning on doing more until I got injured. Good luck with your training! I’m trying to get back to it, girlfriend, but it’s a little slow going.

        • Ouch! That’s a bummer to hear. I wish you luck in recovery. Just remember it is better to take it slow than to re-injure yourself. You’ll get there. Thanks for the comments as usual :)

  6. I will sign a petition to bring back the attractive male from 301!

  7. I’m not liking your inevitable doom – but rather the funny conversation ^.^

  8. He got on the treadmill with you?? Oh man, I would have taken the speed up to 15 and then hit stop.

  9. Wait, what? I HATE it when people talk to me at the gym, period. So if someone interrupted me to talk nonsense, I would likely just walk off and leave them hanging. That’s normal, right? What a douche.

  10. I try to steal towels too. Obviously a fetish of some kind :( lol

  11. Becca, run while you can. I would, if I were you… and if I could run more than six steps without needing to walk for an hour (but we’ll gloss over that)…

  12. What a douchy douche. Even if he was just making innocuous enquiries has he never heard of time and place. Or at the very least wait till you’ve stopped panting. Be afraid. Be very afraid

  13. That guy is a douche for ruining your run. With that said, I have to tell you that my husband also runs/bikes to Alanis. He has a love for angry chick music that I just don’t understand – and I make fun of him endlessly for it. But, any time that I’m in a mood and need some Tori Amos or Garbage, he’s all for it…so there’s that.

  14. Holy Frickin’ Stalker. I’d bring a taser to the gym next time. Too bad you couldn’t have had a coughing fit and horked on him. On My GOD! I’m beside myself I’m so filled with righteous anger. Not to be a total weirdo but…can you get your lock changed on your apartment? If you hung your keys, and he’s as big a douchebag as he seems, couldn’t he have made an imprint? Ick! Ick! Ick!!!!!

    • Ah! I appreciate the concern, but I believe he was just trying to do his job of making sure the computer was telling him correctly… just with REALLY REALLY bad timing. (he is the gym owner after all).

      I really think this was his not-so-effective attempt at customer relationship management, so I don’t believe I have any reason to be afraid, except maybe of bad breath.

      I appreciate the comment. I’m glad you are in my ring ;).

  15. That guy sounds like a total cock. In future, just tell him “You’re interrupting my workout time/training, can we have this discussion when I’m done?”. No need to be so polite to rude people.

    • I didn’t get the vibe that he was being rude purposefully, I think he just was in the process of leaving for the day and didn’t feel like waiting for me to finish to ask.

      Regardless, he of all people should know how hard it is to talk and run! He is an interesting character, but harmless nonetheless. Thanks for the feedback though :). You make a good point.

  16. This is why I like farting in gyms. Everyone has their headphones in and cant hear but they’ll smell it and leave you alone. If he asks for a spot you should run the other way Becca… RUN… Also whats it like working out in a cult’s gym?

    • Well that’s just the worst. I am going to have to get nose plugs now too?

      • No, I’d just eat a huge bean burrito before working out. Guys won’t hit on you and you’ll be free to do your interval training. I mean, girls be hitting on me til they walk up and smell that carne asada. Maybe you’re like me and prefer to get in the zone without being interrupted… Also nose plugs are attractive.

  17. I hate the smell of gyms. Smells like rabbit sex.

    • I personally think it smells like squirrel sex, but to each his own.

      I also hate it when people moan and grunt like they are having sex while working out. It’s mainly people with head phones in. WE CAN HEAR YOU AND WE ARE UNCOMFORTABLE.

  18. What the F? Did he just feel the need to assert his manly manliness over some chick? Idiot.

    • I have no idea if that was the intention, but I just found it odd that he had to interject in the middle of me sprinting. Just seems like common knowledge that you don’t do that.

      What I am more worried about is someone sabotaging my membership! I am going back tonight to investigate ;).

  19. oh, you poor girl. have you not learned just how skeevy guys can be? this was his way of letting you know that he’s watching you, he has access to information about you, and he wants you to know it. it was his way of getting a foot in the door and his mouth at the same time. he needed to make contact, interact with you in some way, and he coupled that with “i know things about you if i want to know them” message.

    check for cameras. jus’ sayin’

  20. The “Man” is always trying to keep you down, right, Becca?
    This sounds like he was trying to ask you a philosophical question: ”Where are you going?” – in life, maybe?
    Either that, or he’s so jacked up on ‘roids, he doesn’t know you from Alice in Wonderland…
    Either way, he needs to back off! Anyone that messes with you will have to deal with The Hook!

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