First World Work Problems

money vs. happines

I admittedly chose this photo solely based on the attractive male in a suit… in a pool.

Parts of this post are hypothetical. Maybe.

I read a post today by Lament’s and Lullalbies that I thought was brilliantly human, which is odd, because I know internet people aren’t people at all, they are aliens. Cool aliens, but aliens nonetheless. Don’t worry, I am not phoning the MIB… yet.

Her post addresses the human condition of struggling between making ends meet and making your dreams come true. She writes in a way that is synonymous with the mosh pit of a thought process that I assume begins in most people’s minds when thinking about these issues. Everyone has an ideal career, or two, or three, or is at least on the search to finding one. Everyone also faces the ongoing obligation to provide for themselves at the same time. It is all a huge balancing act and we don’t have the proper equilibrium. In my case, I am just drunk.

We have to work. Most of us have to work jobs we are less than enthused about because: money. All too often people become barricaded in these jobs for years and years of monotony and turmoil. Why? Scum bag employer syndrome.

This scenario includes two pawns: the dreamer (also known as you) and the force you think you can duel but ultimately are powerless against… the scum bag employer. Here is how it goes:

You: I need to quit my job and pursue my dream of becoming a renowned [insert your dream here] if I ever want it to really happen. That’s right, no more wasting time. I make good money, but it’s not enough worth enduring the bored/grumpy/blase feeling at the end of every work day. I’d rather take a pay cut in exchange for fulfillment. I am going to do this.

Scum Bag Employer: Oh yea?  Really now? You are finally going to make the plunge? How about I go ahead and give you a hefty raise at the precise moment that you get the balls to leave me. Oh yea, and that 401K  to which you just began to contribute? You won’t get to keep even half of it if you bail on me in less than a year. You are getting your own office too. With a real live plant. Looks like you will be bringing the fruit cake to this year’s Christmas bash after all. See you Monday!

You: Well fuck.

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About becca3416

Becca Cord is a twenty-something year old southern ballerina turned humor writer and video editor. Having lived in Louisiana her entire life, she is now perusing her travel dreams while starting her own free-lance Web Marketing business and organizing a nation wide blogging event, Blogger Interactive. She believes one of her callings is making people laugh, and she intends to do so. You can find Becca on her personal blog, Facebook page, or Twitter @becca25tofly.

Posted on September 20, 2012, in Business, Humor, Inspirational and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 22 Comments.

  1. and there in lies the conundrum. how to manifest and stay objective in one foul swoop??

  2. I have a 27 year old friend who quit hsi job to pursue his life goals. Three months later he had to move in with his parents and it took nine months to find another job. Better make sure you can afford it before you take the plunge.

  3. As always, you make me laugh a bunch and also scare the crap out of me as I plan my future.

  4. Well…Fuck. You made me smile. I’ve been working for myself for almost a decade and am now looking to return to the work force and a “scum bag employer”. Thanks for putting it into perspective lol. You have a wonderful way with words and I mean that seriously. :)

  5. When the time is right you will know it, and you’ll jump. And you’ll shine B!

  6. “Parts of this post are hypothetical. Maybe.”
    I love this beginning…
    “You: Well fuck.”
    And the ending wasn’t too shabby either!

  7. Wah – if only I had a job for this to be my life >.<

  8. So much funnier than my post. And sexier. Hello, suited pool man. “Scum bag employer syndrome” is really, really good. You nailed it. They also have a knack for brainwashing you into thinking they’re the only kind of boss out there (at least for us ungrateful dreamy types).
    May you be blessed with a job of plentyo. Plentyo money, plentyo respect, plentyo passion, ad nauseum.

  9. Wahhh! This is my life!!

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