Cookies for One

Tollhouse chocolate chip cookies

[I have a thing I like to do. They call it cooking. There are a few favorite things I enjoy whipping up, but ultimately I enjoy all recipes, even if it only requires separating perforated cookie dough squares and arranging them on a pan.]

Last night I made quite the southern dish of rice and gravy with a side an entire plate of cookies. There were also some mashed potatoes involved, but I swear they weren’t instant. I wouldn’t be a real chef if I dared to make something so atrociously easy. Oh yes, that’s right, I am in fact not a chef. Thank you Idahoan loaded style instant mashed potatoes. Without you, how would I ever have gotten all of those chocolate chip packed squares divided in time? Whew.

After I clicked the last burner knob into the off position, I realized I hadn’t the slightest intention of eating anything I prepared. From the cookies to the ridiculous vat of rice and gravy, I had enough food and dessert to easily feed a family of four. Sadly, I am but one measly person. Why did I make an entire package of cookies? I don’t even eat cookies. Like ever. At least, I rationalized, the rice and gravy was not a lost cause seeing as I could eat off of that all week. But, the cookies? The cookies were futile.

I suppose what happened there was the result of my subconscious attempting to create a sense of false comfort by having a plate of cookies sitting on the kitchen counter. When you are young, single, and living in a tiny apartment where you can hear the next door neighbor blinking, it is easy to lose that i’m-at-home feeling. I must have absent mindedly come up with this cookie ploy while lost in the dairy aisle somewhere between the milk and I-can’t-believe-it’s-not-egg… or whatever. While I have yet to eat any of the cookies, maybe, just maybe, the maintenance guy will steal a couple while I am at work. That would be fantastic. I must go take cookie inventory now, but I have left last night’s non-meal recipe below. Bare with me, however, I am not good with specifics when it comes to seasonings. Just throw that shtuff in there until it tastes like Channing Tatum’s abs.

Rice & Gravy:
–Ingredients—
One large onion diced
One diced bell pepper
2 tablespoons olive oil
4-6 cuts of round steak
Handful of flour (optional to thicken gravy)
Tony’s creole seasoning salt or seasoned salt/black pepper/garlic powder
Worcesteshire sauce
1 cup white rice
1 can sweet corn
unlimited supply of di-hydrogen monoxide

First thing is first, pour a generous glass of wine or Jameson on the rocks. Season your meat cutlets with Worcesteshire first, and then add Tony’s, salt and pepper. Don’t hold back with the seasoning either. Heat olive oil at a little above medium in a large pot. If you happen to have a Magnalite pot, then use that. It is the ideal type of pot or this dish. If not, don’t fret.  Once hot, place meat arranged at the bottom of the pot. This is the most crucial part of the rice and gravy process. The idea is to “burn” the residue and seasonings from the meat to the bottom of the pot while browning the meat.  Make sure you don’t up the temperature too high, but bump it up enough to leave you with a nice dark brown (almost caramelized looking) layer on the bottom of the pot after the meat is out. I usually let the meat brown for about ten minutes or more on each side while playing with the temperature until I start getting that accumulation at the bottom. This is the base for the gravy.

Once you have taken your meat out of the pot, turn the heat back down to medium (if you so happen to have it a bit higher). Saute your veggies in the pot and on top of the brown layer of crusty looking stuff your meat left behind. Do this for about five minutes, and then add water until the pot is half full of liquid. Place your meat back in the pot as well. Stir and add seasonings to your own liking. I sometimes add more Worcesteshire as well. You will probably have to scrape some of the gravy base from the bottom of the pot to mix it all in well with the water. Yay, a gravy is born! Now let the water cook down (still on medium) until you notice the pot mixture getting low (maybe about 45 minutes to an hour). Stir and add more water back up to the half full mark. Let this cook down again for about 45 minutes. You can reduce the heat a little bit the second time in order to keep the meat tender. Here is also where you can add a bit of flour if you desire to make the gravy a bit thicker.

Prepare your corn and rice on the side while your meat and gravy are cooking down. Once it is all ready, grab a ladle and spoon the gravy and meat into a bowl over rice and add in some sweet corn. Proceed to have a foodgasm. The end.

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About Becca Cord

Becca Cord is a twenty-something year old southern ballerina turned humor writer and video editor. Having lived in Louisiana her entire life, she is now perusing her travel dreams while starting her own free-lance Web Marketing business and organizing a nation wide blogging event, Blogger Interactive. She believes one of her callings is making people laugh, and she intends to do so. You can find Becca on her personal blog, Facebook page, or Twitter @becca25tofly.

Posted on July 2, 2012, in Adventures, Cooking, Home, Humor, Silly and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 13 Comments.

  1. Ooh, Channing Tatum’s abs. Yummy ;)

  2. This is OBVIOUSLY your way of subtly letting me know you’re making my favorites and I should pay you a visit. Shhh. Be there soon.

  3. Your self-control is amazing! That plate of cookies would’ve been GONE had it been me :) (Well… let’s be honest. It wouldn’t have made it into cookies… that cookie DOUGH would’ve been gone if it’d been me!)

  4. I now want to have a foodgasm with gravy and cookies, just not at the same time. Well, maybe at the same time. Thanks. Also….Canada sounds like it needs a stern talking to.

  5. The south is the only place I have ever been where people consistently choose gravy over cookies. I really did try to see where you people are coming from, but I just love cookies too much.

  1. Pingback: Lazy Mexican Chili | 25ToFly

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