She Made Me an Offer I Can’t Refuse

the gosmother

[Let's pretend that this is an appropriate photo for this post, and you can just call me whatever the female Vito would be called. Or, just let me pretend I look this cool. Alright, I am a horrible phony. I haven't even seen The Godfather. ]

You know what I have seen though? A bunch of ultra-sounds and baby bump pictures. Yes, the infamous Booger is growing a tiny human these days. While I never expected we’d planning her reveal party for the sex of the baby this weekend, I also never expected to get so amped about baby stuff in general. And probably the least expected, but most incredibly exciting part of it all… she offered me the position of godmother.

Here in the south, godmothers are generally called the nanny and the godfather is the paran (I don’t think I can give an accurate phonetic spelling, so just pronounce that with your best French accent). When Booger called me to ask what I would prefer to be called (Godmother, Nanny, Aunt Becca), the whole life changing event became more real in my eyes. I can only imagine how she feels.

All of my friends know me as the one who was never overly concerned with settling down or marriage and definitely not procreating. The slightest thought of child-birth always triggers the “NOPE!” section of my brain. Even as a child, I never fantasized about my wedding or was much for playing with baby dolls that were promised to realistically defecate on me. I was more in to putting Ballet Barbie in her convertible and playing make-believe as a restaurant owner. No lie, I had boxes of faux meal receipts that I organized to keep tabs on my imaginary diner’s success. We had the best hot dogs. All the regulars said so.

This being a known fact, it still didn’t have my best friend faltering in her decision to deem me the godmother, a very important and honorable title. What an amazing complement, seriously. But wait, what exactly does a godmother even do? Cue Wikipedia.

A godmother is a female godparent in the Christian tradition. Godmother may also refer to:

  • A female arranged to be legal guardian of a child if untimely demise is met by the parents
  • Godmother (cocktail), a cocktail made with Italian Amaretto liqueur and vodka
  • Godmother (film), a Hindi film
  • The Godmother (film), a 2011 Romanian film [1]
  • Griselda Blanco (nickname)

The thought of the “demise” of my closest friends is not a thought I’d like to entertain. I have heard a more general idea that the godmother provides spiritual guidance for the child. We will go with this definition as to avoid negative thoughts. This may or may not have been heard on an episode of Sex and the City, but I digress. Anyway, I was always certain that the only form of godmother anyone would associate with me on this list is the one that involves liquor. Until now, that is.

Just two years ago Booger and I were shopping for the perfect sake shot glasses and crashing wedding parties. Now, I am shopping alone in destination maternity looking as lost as Barbie in the cabbage patch, yet giddily determined. My best friend is living the next amazing chapter of her life, while I am still rough drafting an introduction for mine. But you know what? That’s okay, because I will be one cool ass godmother with the nickname of Aunt Becca (or whatever the little one desires to spit out in acknowledgement of my presence). I may not be an expert at many guardian-like tasks, but I sure can spoil the hell out of anyone I love. That is exactly what I intend to do. Whenever I gain some real grown up insight to life, I promise to share that with him or her. However, by then we will probably be discussing it over a couple of godmother cocktails.

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About Becca Cord

Becca Cord is a twenty-something year old southern ballerina turned humor writer and video editor. Having lived in Louisiana her entire life, she is now perusing her travel dreams while starting her own free-lance Web Marketing business and organizing a nation wide blogging event, Blogger Interactive. She believes one of her callings is making people laugh, and she intends to do so. You can find Becca on her personal blog, Facebook page, or Twitter @becca25tofly.

Posted on June 19, 2012, in Adventures, Home, Humor, Inspirational and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 16 Comments.

  1. You’d be a cool godmother! I can just picture you shopping for little one-piece long underwear in baby sizes…

  2. It’s always an honor to become a Godmother/Godfather. Either way. It shows that your friends think highly of you. Congrats on the Occasion. :)

  3. everyone should have a friend named booger. then in gym class, when you’re selecting teams for dodgeball, you get to say, “i pick booger.”

  4. This is very thoughtful! Every good godmother should provide a cocktail, but perhaps not amaretto and vodka….that sounds wicked gross.

  5. Congratulations!! That’s an awesome honor!

  6. You may actually surprise yourself at how expert-like you are Becca, when the time comes. I mean, I don’t know… but you may!

    • Thankfully his/her mom is probably the one of the most qualified mom-to-bes I know, so I’ll just be there to goof off with them. Thanks for the comment!

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