Bacon: The Candy of Meats

bacon roses(click for DIY for bacon roses)

This morning I woke up and realized I forgot to eat dinner yet again last night. I tend to do this when I am distracted by weekend activities. Famished, I slid to the kitchen and flung open my refrigerator. The contents of my fridge included bacon, milk, cheese, turkey, and pickles. I suppose I could have opted for a sandwich, but instead I cooked an absurd amount of bacon. Because it is Sunday and I am a sloth in training, I cheated a bit and cooked it in the microwave. Six strips nuked for about 4 1/2 minutes is the winning combination for the perfectly crunchy consistency that I enjoy.

Then, Standing over the stove, I dressed each auburn strip with a perfect ration of maple syrup. It is key to strategically allow the syrup to gather in the gorged parts of the bacon. Then, I washed them all down with ice cold milk. The amount of milk I chugged down was quite absurd as well. Being that the milk’s expiration date is today, I believe it was justified. Does anyone else cringe at the dried milk flakes that occasionally accumulate on the top of the jug? This shit just makes my skin crawl. I can not explain this phenomenon.

This is how I eat my bacon. Every. Single. Time. How do you like your bacon? I bet this guy could give you some tips.

As I write this I am having a conversation via text with a musician friend of mine. He is informing me about his upcoming tour in six weeks and inviting me to go meet some people down near New Orleans backstage at the Cowboy Mouth show this evening. Sadly, I had to decline because of that little thing that is ruiner of all things fun┬ácalled work tomorrow. Then, to make things worse, I realize I have just written an entire post about bacon. Oh yea, and wasn’t I supposed to be at the beach right now? Sigh. If there is one thing that can get me through this, its going to be the bacon. Definitely the bacon. Back to the microwave.

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About Becca Cord

Becca Cord is a twenty-something year old southern ballerina turned humor writer and video editor. Having lived in Louisiana her entire life, she is now perusing her travel dreams while starting her own free-lance Web Marketing business and organizing a nation wide blogging event, Blogger Interactive. She believes one of her callings is making people laugh, and she intends to do so. You can find Becca on her personal blog, Facebook page, or Twitter @becca25tofly.

Posted on April 1, 2012, in Cooking, Experiments, Silly and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 14 Comments.

  1. I wish i could offer an intelligent critique of this post, but all i can think of is bacon…

  2. Don’t apologize – you just described a perfect weekend day. As long as you went for a nap after the bacon fest.

  3. I love Bacon!

    Hey listen, I nominated you for the Liebster Blog Award. Head over to http://agreycat.wordpress.com/ for more info.

    Sam

    • Wow! Thanks so much. That is so kind of you and pretty much just made my day. I have been seeing these awards floating around but didn’t really know much about them. I shall pass it along!

  4. Don’t hate me – but I don’t eat bacon that much :p
    But my bf loves it! I might have to take some tips from this! (Especially the bacon roses – valentine’s day? ^.^)

  5. That sounds like a wild breakfast you had yourself there. Now, I may be alone in this, but I like to “take” my bacon after it has cooled off from the skillet or microwave, and sat around on a paper towel for a while soaking up some of the grease. Not for health reasons, just because I prefer bacon at room temperature for some reason. I think because I usually get up late, after someone else has already made bacon, and by the time I get to their leftovers/offerings the bacon has cooled off. I trained myself to love it!

    • Derek, absolutely. My apartment also now smells pretty intense. I don’t like to eat it piping hot either, and I definitely use paper towels to soak up some of that grease. For the microwave I usually put a layer of paper towels on the plate, arrange the bacon, and then a layer of paper towels on top. Works like a charm and the clean up is super easy! Thanks for reading!

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